My 2nd mom
I spent a week at Indo when my aunt came over for holiday with my younger cousins. They are living at another city in my province, & despite the short travel distance, I’ve not seen her for more than 2 years already. Yet, I knew that nothing has changed since the time she left, which was more than 5 years ago already.
Memories came flooding back as we chatted through midnights. She used to stay with us before she got married, & I was probably only 2-3 years old then. My early recollection of her probably began when I was around 5 years old, which was when she moved out just a few rukos (shophouses) down the street. She still visited us often because she was very close to my mom, and to us (the kids) as well.
I remember I was really naughty as a kid, & my mom also said I often chased away my playmates! There were lots of occasions when my parents would take out canes & rattan feather dusters (yes, those are really painful!) when I did something wrong, & every time before that happens my aunt would be running down the street to save my as*. I can’t recall how she always managed to get wind of my impending disaster, but as far as I can think back she was always there to rescue me, shielding me from my mom’s canes, & sometimes my dad’s leather belts! Violent family, I know, but hey I think the kids in my family turned out pretty good in the end! (though I won’t advocate the use of violence on my kids next time..). She’d take the hits sometimes just so that my parents would stop, & each time she would then calm me down & take me out if I was crying.
This continued for several years throughout my primary school days, & each time something happens she would be there to get me out. Even after she had kids of her own, she still continued to care for me, just like before. However, I didn’t really understand how much she doted on me then, & I definitely wasn’t aware of the love she had for us.
Her house was burnt down in an accident later and her family decided to relocate to another city. It was after she moved that I realized she was an important part of my family’s life. I remember feeling so lost, even though I was already studying in sg by then. Still, the familiar face that I’ve taken for granted all those years has been taken away from me, & I realized that I won’t be seeing her when I go back for school holiday.
The thing that amazes the most is that not only our relationship has not eroded through the distance, but instead it has grown stronger over all these years. We speak on the phone regularly, & despite her family situation (her husband lost his business & has since only found a low-paying job), she always had time for me whenever I need her advice. Even though she has not even completed primary school before, I never once had problem communicating with her about the many ideas I had, & she always had the advices ready for me, as if she had pre-empted my thoughts!
We have shared tears, laughter, joy, pain, & anything else a person could possibly ever conceive. This time during one of our midnight chats, she cried when we were talking about something that was very sensitive to her, & yet she kept advising me to stay in good terms with that very person that made her tears flow each time. I told her that any other time I would have listened to her, but there is no way that I would ever address that person again. Not after what that person has done to her, my mom & my other aunts.
Sad stuff aside, the rest of the week was spent visiting my youngest cousin. She’s so adorable (I’ll post up a pic of her next time!) & I think she looks like Shin-Chan, even though my aunt would be angry every time I said that because she didn’t think it was a compliment at all! I could genuinely see her love for my cousin, just like what she had for me when I was a kid.
All the money in the world couldn’t buy this special bond between us, & I truly thank God for her presence in my life. I can’t overstate how much I respect her, love her, & admire her for her courage in dealing with the difficult situations in her life.
I’m glad everything has not changed, despite the obvious changes to our own respective lives. Well, almost everything anyway. This time I’ve managed to see the point of cherishing someone I respect & love from the day they arrive in my life, instead of only realizing my mistake when they’re no longer around…
Memories came flooding back as we chatted through midnights. She used to stay with us before she got married, & I was probably only 2-3 years old then. My early recollection of her probably began when I was around 5 years old, which was when she moved out just a few rukos (shophouses) down the street. She still visited us often because she was very close to my mom, and to us (the kids) as well.
I remember I was really naughty as a kid, & my mom also said I often chased away my playmates! There were lots of occasions when my parents would take out canes & rattan feather dusters (yes, those are really painful!) when I did something wrong, & every time before that happens my aunt would be running down the street to save my as*. I can’t recall how she always managed to get wind of my impending disaster, but as far as I can think back she was always there to rescue me, shielding me from my mom’s canes, & sometimes my dad’s leather belts! Violent family, I know, but hey I think the kids in my family turned out pretty good in the end! (though I won’t advocate the use of violence on my kids next time..). She’d take the hits sometimes just so that my parents would stop, & each time she would then calm me down & take me out if I was crying.
This continued for several years throughout my primary school days, & each time something happens she would be there to get me out. Even after she had kids of her own, she still continued to care for me, just like before. However, I didn’t really understand how much she doted on me then, & I definitely wasn’t aware of the love she had for us.
Her house was burnt down in an accident later and her family decided to relocate to another city. It was after she moved that I realized she was an important part of my family’s life. I remember feeling so lost, even though I was already studying in sg by then. Still, the familiar face that I’ve taken for granted all those years has been taken away from me, & I realized that I won’t be seeing her when I go back for school holiday.
The thing that amazes the most is that not only our relationship has not eroded through the distance, but instead it has grown stronger over all these years. We speak on the phone regularly, & despite her family situation (her husband lost his business & has since only found a low-paying job), she always had time for me whenever I need her advice. Even though she has not even completed primary school before, I never once had problem communicating with her about the many ideas I had, & she always had the advices ready for me, as if she had pre-empted my thoughts!
We have shared tears, laughter, joy, pain, & anything else a person could possibly ever conceive. This time during one of our midnight chats, she cried when we were talking about something that was very sensitive to her, & yet she kept advising me to stay in good terms with that very person that made her tears flow each time. I told her that any other time I would have listened to her, but there is no way that I would ever address that person again. Not after what that person has done to her, my mom & my other aunts.
Sad stuff aside, the rest of the week was spent visiting my youngest cousin. She’s so adorable (I’ll post up a pic of her next time!) & I think she looks like Shin-Chan, even though my aunt would be angry every time I said that because she didn’t think it was a compliment at all! I could genuinely see her love for my cousin, just like what she had for me when I was a kid.
All the money in the world couldn’t buy this special bond between us, & I truly thank God for her presence in my life. I can’t overstate how much I respect her, love her, & admire her for her courage in dealing with the difficult situations in her life.
I’m glad everything has not changed, despite the obvious changes to our own respective lives. Well, almost everything anyway. This time I’ve managed to see the point of cherishing someone I respect & love from the day they arrive in my life, instead of only realizing my mistake when they’re no longer around…
posted by leonhart @ 3:37 AM
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