Freedom

1) When does concern for a person cross the line and start turning into the oh-so-evil nagging?

2) Must there always be a trade-off between $$$ & quality of life?

3) Why am I still getting irritated by insensitive comments from some rough, uncouth people I don't even know?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As we passed through the now familiar roads of Batam, I asked myself, 'Would I be content to stay here & live the rest of my life in this place, just like my bro? $$$ wouldn't even be a problem because the cost of living is low. I wouldn't need to work for other people and could start running my own business tomorrow. Isn't this what I want for myself in the future? BE MY OWN BOSS? So when the opportunity is right in front of me, why am I hesitating to take it??'

The answer lies in my reluctance to stay anywhere near my family. I know it sounds odd, but I just couldn't stand everything being arranged for me anymore. Sure, there are some benefits to this, like I don't have to worry about cooking my own meals and iron my own clothes, but there are times when I wish to be left alone and starve at night, or wear crumpled shirt when I go out! Staying with family means that I can't do all these anymore, & it feels like my freedom is being taken away suddenly, after 4 years of completely unobstructed actions.

I don't like people having a veto over any of my decisions, & if I want to make my room look like the aftermath of World War II, I can do it without anyone shouting. I don't like being SUMMONED to listen to your incessant nagging when you don't even actually care. Please just go and tend to your favourite IGCs and LEAVE ME (& your other MGCs) ALONE! Why must you always force your will onto us when you treat us like we're worthless to you?

We don't need your filthy riches. So don't shout at us when and where as you please..

I have never seen someone who could see his/her own FCs suffer so much & not even offer a hand. If you still have a human heart, please rescue your own FCs from their miseries. $$$ can't buy happiness for them, but your gesture will. It must be so painful for them to see their own PT not do anything when s/he has more than enough ability to save them.

Thinking of it now, the reason I left Sg for Melb was actually because I couldn't stand living with my own family anymore. Not my immediate family, but my extended family who has apts in sg. I had to get out because I was this -- close to snapping. I had almost forgotten it all after so long, but sadly I had to be reminded of it again now.

Can't wait to reclaim my freedom when I head overseas again. It's a funny thought, but I think I can understand why do women in the past fight for their voting rights, and why did the Indos want to drive out the Dutch so much in the 1900s. I'm sure the Dutch didn't cook dinner and force it down their throat, in which case I think they wouldn't be wanting to chase 'em out anymore back then (it's a sign of the changing world!), but the right to choose what you feel like is definitely worth more than anything in the world.

Merdeka! Liberte! Freiheit! Liberta! De vrijheid! Libertad! 自由!