Does Flattery Always Prevail?
No good news yet at the moment, but I feel like blogging today because one topic has been occupying my mind for the past few days, and I need to get it out of my system in order to get a gd nite sleep. Small things tend to bog me down & my tireless brain seems always ready to work/kick 'em out before it can give itself a good rest.
Anws, so the topic of the day is 'Simple Truth VS Flatteries'. By the latter term I really mean people who actually don't know what they're talking abt and always seem to get by, by either:
1) Conforming EAGERLY to the opinion of others, once there's simple majority in the votes (so as to always be on the good side of whichever party that's winning) OR
2) Presenting his/her contorted ideas which are based on absolutely NOTHING (read: plucked from thin air)
Many of you would have encountered people who fits the descriptions as above. In fact, many of us would have conformed to a certain extent, as this is one fact that's well known in the psychology circle. However, those who have conformed before would normally have their individual opinions on that particular matter, and that is the single difference separating the 'flatterers' from the average person in that aspect. Flatterers DO NOT have opinions of their own, and so in fact the word 'conformed' isn't even appropriate because they don't have their own stand in the first place, and only followed whichever side that's 'winning'.
It is the second point that annoys me the most, as these people can simply say whatever they want, and get away with it even though it might be the most idiotic stuff you'd have heard from someone. Ironically, these are actually the same people that are getting all the attention for the stupid/incoherent stuff they said. There are smart people 'marvelling' at their incompetence, and yet still be bowled over by them because they want to get into their circles and to be part of the 'hip' group. Yes you read that right. These are the same people who are getting everywhere in the society, compared to smarter people who're languishing in the back office because they're straight talking/honest dudes and aren't afraid to say to their boss's faces that the company's in trouble.
To illustrate this point, let me point to a gd example. I had a chat with my cuz quite some time ago regarding how we couldn't exactly fit into gwai loh's culture, both in Oz and USA, and because of that we were having trouble finding jobs even tho we landed interviews with many companies respectively. We're both quite passive ppl unless we're surrounded by familiar ppl, which is quite typical of indo chinese, so whenever we're interviewed, we're always doing straight talks with the interviewers, and more often than not that's where the arduous process of a job application comes to an end. We both know that even if the recruiter doesn't always point it out, it's always down to how they don't see us a a 'cultural fit' with the company.
In my case I've seen plenty of glib-talkers w/o any real merits securing jobs at the investment banks & other top grad works. These are the ppl I've actually worked with in group projects before & I was always amazed at how they could bulldoze through the whole presentation with big words that they use indiscriminately because they haven't prepared beforehand.
A closer example to both of us would be someone that both my cousin & I know have always spoken nonsense since the day we knew him/her, & always keen to flatter/to be flattered. 'His' gibberish really annoyed many, but yet because of the position of power he enjoys, and due to the fact that he's indeed pretty gd with words (in the nonsensical manner)and not many of the people in our circle is actually discerning enough to break down his words into facts and fictions, he always got his way around problems. He also landed jobs with the firms abroad, & both of us thought that it would be mostly due to the fact that he could twist her words like many ang mohs do.
Now, we're not saying all gwai lohs are like that. In fact we've met many very smart people who are obviously the stars of the future, and those truly deserved their places. Many of you (the regular readers of this blog) whom I know personally would have earned your rights to be in the positions you're in right now, and thoroughly deserved so too.
Well given that I'm not exactly looking for or in need of a job right now, I've not much of a reason to complain, but I do feel the injustice being done to honest(?)/straight-talking people. Why is it that honesty and wisdom are getting rejected in favour of flattery initially? If it isn't embarassing enough that wisdom is not valued highly, it certainly is disgraceful when someone whom you regard to be of morally corrupt can get into places where you can't.
Ok finally got it off my chest! Looking forward to a good sleep tonight =)
Anws, so the topic of the day is 'Simple Truth VS Flatteries'. By the latter term I really mean people who actually don't know what they're talking abt and always seem to get by, by either:
1) Conforming EAGERLY to the opinion of others, once there's simple majority in the votes (so as to always be on the good side of whichever party that's winning) OR
2) Presenting his/her contorted ideas which are based on absolutely NOTHING (read: plucked from thin air)
Many of you would have encountered people who fits the descriptions as above. In fact, many of us would have conformed to a certain extent, as this is one fact that's well known in the psychology circle. However, those who have conformed before would normally have their individual opinions on that particular matter, and that is the single difference separating the 'flatterers' from the average person in that aspect. Flatterers DO NOT have opinions of their own, and so in fact the word 'conformed' isn't even appropriate because they don't have their own stand in the first place, and only followed whichever side that's 'winning'.
It is the second point that annoys me the most, as these people can simply say whatever they want, and get away with it even though it might be the most idiotic stuff you'd have heard from someone. Ironically, these are actually the same people that are getting all the attention for the stupid/incoherent stuff they said. There are smart people 'marvelling' at their incompetence, and yet still be bowled over by them because they want to get into their circles and to be part of the 'hip' group. Yes you read that right. These are the same people who are getting everywhere in the society, compared to smarter people who're languishing in the back office because they're straight talking/honest dudes and aren't afraid to say to their boss's faces that the company's in trouble.
To illustrate this point, let me point to a gd example. I had a chat with my cuz quite some time ago regarding how we couldn't exactly fit into gwai loh's culture, both in Oz and USA, and because of that we were having trouble finding jobs even tho we landed interviews with many companies respectively. We're both quite passive ppl unless we're surrounded by familiar ppl, which is quite typical of indo chinese, so whenever we're interviewed, we're always doing straight talks with the interviewers, and more often than not that's where the arduous process of a job application comes to an end. We both know that even if the recruiter doesn't always point it out, it's always down to how they don't see us a a 'cultural fit' with the company.
In my case I've seen plenty of glib-talkers w/o any real merits securing jobs at the investment banks & other top grad works. These are the ppl I've actually worked with in group projects before & I was always amazed at how they could bulldoze through the whole presentation with big words that they use indiscriminately because they haven't prepared beforehand.
A closer example to both of us would be someone that both my cousin & I know have always spoken nonsense since the day we knew him/her, & always keen to flatter/to be flattered. 'His' gibberish really annoyed many, but yet because of the position of power he enjoys, and due to the fact that he's indeed pretty gd with words (in the nonsensical manner)and not many of the people in our circle is actually discerning enough to break down his words into facts and fictions, he always got his way around problems. He also landed jobs with the firms abroad, & both of us thought that it would be mostly due to the fact that he could twist her words like many ang mohs do.
Now, we're not saying all gwai lohs are like that. In fact we've met many very smart people who are obviously the stars of the future, and those truly deserved their places. Many of you (the regular readers of this blog) whom I know personally would have earned your rights to be in the positions you're in right now, and thoroughly deserved so too.
Well given that I'm not exactly looking for or in need of a job right now, I've not much of a reason to complain, but I do feel the injustice being done to honest(?)/straight-talking people. Why is it that honesty and wisdom are getting rejected in favour of flattery initially? If it isn't embarassing enough that wisdom is not valued highly, it certainly is disgraceful when someone whom you regard to be of morally corrupt can get into places where you can't.
Ok finally got it off my chest! Looking forward to a good sleep tonight =)
posted by leonhart @ 2:40 AM
2 Comments:
At 11:56 PM,
dee said…
i guess in the world of business networking skills are amazingly important and a lot of us dont realise how much that means... being able to make pple believe what u say is a very sellable trait and in fact someone told me that 97% of the stats u hear over conversations are made up just so they sound like they know their shit. I actually believe that. So sorry for those straight talkers, coz im one of them, and we need to learn to adapt to the cultures of where we are.. if we need to be chatty we have to try to be so.. i dont love interviews myself coz u tend to have to try to be someone u wish u were.
At 3:39 AM,
leonhart said…
Exactly my view on the matter. It pains me to see why we need to conform to (read: learn to be) 'shit-talkers' just so that we get a decent standing in the working ladder. I used to, and perhaps still am, get turned off once I sense a person is saying baseless stuff, so I'm balking at the scenario when I need to be learning to be one of them.
That would be so pathetic, wouldn't it? Imagine getting all bored and sleepy listening to your own bullcr*p, or worse, hating yourself for turning into someone you don't like when you have the choice not to!
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