Perpisahan...

I went to the airport for the umpteenth time tonight, but this time it's different from the others:
I came back home, instead of walking down the long path towards the departure hall myself.

Perpisahan. That's the indo term for separation. It means exactly the same in some sense, but yet it carries a much deeper, more subtle meaning than its english equivalent. It portrays the general atmosphere of immense sadness, reluctancy to let your loved ones leave, as well as the unability to control it from happening at the same time.

This is exactly what I'm feeling now, after sending off my cousins who are going back to the US, via South Korea. After being the one who gets sent off everytime, and strolling, sometimes pacing, down the lonely travelator path, it certainly feels somewhat strange this time when I had to send my sister home after the whole thing. I can finally understand how my family members felt when I had to leave for melb again when the summer hols were over. As much as how coy & cool we may act about this (that's the trait of my family), I'm sure that reluctance was the word on every1's mind tonight...

As much as I've anticipated this 3 mths ago, coming back to an empty apartment certainly doesn't feel good at all... Hopefully time will erode away this feeling of loneliness that I've not felt for some time now, while the memories of the quality time that we spent still remains fresh on my mind and accompanies me during the darker hours ahead...