Of christmas carols & tunes (Vol. 1)
Met her for the first time yesterday...
We have 'known' each other for almost 9 months now,
It started awkwardly initially,
and it took a while for both of us to get warmed up to each other,
through the unexpected twist of her ups & downs in her relationships.
Unknowingly I began playing the counsellor,
Adding an unbiased opinion and steering her back into reality when she goes off course,
and slowly but surely she started opening up more & more,
and that was the start of our friendship.
We comforted each other in tough times,
and also shared our thoughts and dreams.
Our exchanges became more frequent,
and there was always these lingering thoughts:
How could we trust each other when we have never met before,
& will this dissipate if we meet up one day?
as in, what if our visions of what we think of the other are completely different from reality?
And should we actually take that risk & put all we have on the poker table?
We discussed it and quickly discarded that notion,
& decided to meet up yesterday as she'd only be in singapore for a few days.
After a long wait due to her getting lost in the orchard labirynth tunnels,
we finally met up, accompanied by the christmas tunes being played on a piano in the background.
She was exactly what I had expected her to be:
Demure, elegant, friendly and worldly.
I remember she had told me sometimes she can be a total klutz on bad days,
but yesterday was definitely not one of those days.
If my image of her had been reinforced through our meeting,
I think it will be the exact opposite for her image of me.
I tended to be ineloquent in front of the ladies I fancied in the past,
and this time it has proved to be the same yet again.
She'll be leaving the country tomorrow,
& I doubt I've left a strong enough impression on her.
Like she pointed out in her previous email,
it feels like she 'knows' me, but she really doesn't.
We won't meet again anytime soon,
and God knows when I'll be there to visit her.
but the one thing I'm sure of,
is that I have to fight for that future, and grab it with both my hands.
We have 'known' each other for almost 9 months now,
It started awkwardly initially,
and it took a while for both of us to get warmed up to each other,
through the unexpected twist of her ups & downs in her relationships.
Unknowingly I began playing the counsellor,
Adding an unbiased opinion and steering her back into reality when she goes off course,
and slowly but surely she started opening up more & more,
and that was the start of our friendship.
We comforted each other in tough times,
and also shared our thoughts and dreams.
Our exchanges became more frequent,
and there was always these lingering thoughts:
How could we trust each other when we have never met before,
& will this dissipate if we meet up one day?
as in, what if our visions of what we think of the other are completely different from reality?
And should we actually take that risk & put all we have on the poker table?
We discussed it and quickly discarded that notion,
& decided to meet up yesterday as she'd only be in singapore for a few days.
After a long wait due to her getting lost in the orchard labirynth tunnels,
we finally met up, accompanied by the christmas tunes being played on a piano in the background.
She was exactly what I had expected her to be:
Demure, elegant, friendly and worldly.
I remember she had told me sometimes she can be a total klutz on bad days,
but yesterday was definitely not one of those days.
If my image of her had been reinforced through our meeting,
I think it will be the exact opposite for her image of me.
I tended to be ineloquent in front of the ladies I fancied in the past,
and this time it has proved to be the same yet again.
She'll be leaving the country tomorrow,
& I doubt I've left a strong enough impression on her.
Like she pointed out in her previous email,
it feels like she 'knows' me, but she really doesn't.
We won't meet again anytime soon,
and God knows when I'll be there to visit her.
but the one thing I'm sure of,
is that I have to fight for that future, and grab it with both my hands.
posted by leonhart @ 9:24 PM
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