A badminton story....
'Is it only through tribulations that true friends reveal themselves?'
I've learned much more about those people around me in these 2 months than, for some cases, more than 3 years that I've known them. I don't know how to express my gratitude for all the support they've shown me during my difficult times these few months, & I'm eternally grateful to these people that have made me realize that life's worth living....
As some of you have known, I've been in pretty dejected mood since the AUG selection. I've sort of lost the motivation to carry on playing and training in the sport that I loved so much, & I was seriously contemplating the possibility of getting away from all that at the end of the year (Possibly by leaving Melbourne altogether). I've lived past these 3 years in the team selection process by keeping a positive outlook on the future everytime I'm bypassed for a spot on the team, telling myself there is always next year to look forward to. I was constantly trying harder & harder every year since I made it into the SUG team in the 1st year, only to be left dissapointed every single time at the end. All those time, my mind focused on the negatives, like why was I the one to be abandoned when I'm as good as others. It is only after a while that my thoughts cleared and I told myself that I will train harder next time to prove that I'm better, not just as good as any others.
Since then, I've never missed a single training session. However, 2nd year was another big dissapointment because they picked other people ahead of me again because of my lack of ability in singles... I really hated myself at that time and I thought why did I even bother trying at all in a place where no people valued my effort and,to some extent, talent. I was ready to walk away from it all and quit this club altogether...
During the summer holiday break, I went back to SG and played in some competition with my cousin, who had been my doubles partner since our days in Indo. I told him that I was probably never going to play any baddie again when I leave for Oz (based on the reason above). He respected that decision, but added a comment 'Do what your heart really says' (in Hokkien, this is the rough translation :))... Obviously he knew it's not going to be easy for me to give it up, because both of us shared a passion for the game since we were kids...
Year 3 started. I was hesistant to turn up to training at first, fearing another heartbreak was in the making. However, after staying away from baddie for the rest of the holiday, I started feeling empty inside me. It's like a piece of me was taken away, & I'm no longer a complete person. I finally decided to give it a try again, & I'm glad that I made that decision. It's not just the achievement of being finally recognized, but it's also because of the support of some people when I didn't make it the 2nd time. A team member was actually offering me his place in the team,an offer which I declined because the team needs him more than me. At that point, I realized that it's not the spot on the team that matters the most, but the special relationship that I've built up with some people over this period of time (Although it's definitely even more special to be able to play w/ them obviously :).
I'm not the most religious person there is, but my prayers go with the team. I sincerely hope that they will finally get the long awaited AUG trophy, & when that happens, I will be the 1st one to cheer for the team, and even more importantly, for the sport that I love so much.....
I was talking to a close friend, & even though she was really sick with flu she still dragged herself to console me. We've always supported each other a lot, dating back to the days when we were in Trinity. She gave me an advice when I told her the situation: 'at the end of the day, badminton is not your career...', which pretty much cleared every doubt there is in my mind. It is true that it's never going to be my career, which I have no doubt is in business, but I can still promote the sport ala Tony Gunawan, my hero and role model... & that is the road I'm traversing on from now on....
I've learned much more about those people around me in these 2 months than, for some cases, more than 3 years that I've known them. I don't know how to express my gratitude for all the support they've shown me during my difficult times these few months, & I'm eternally grateful to these people that have made me realize that life's worth living....
As some of you have known, I've been in pretty dejected mood since the AUG selection. I've sort of lost the motivation to carry on playing and training in the sport that I loved so much, & I was seriously contemplating the possibility of getting away from all that at the end of the year (Possibly by leaving Melbourne altogether). I've lived past these 3 years in the team selection process by keeping a positive outlook on the future everytime I'm bypassed for a spot on the team, telling myself there is always next year to look forward to. I was constantly trying harder & harder every year since I made it into the SUG team in the 1st year, only to be left dissapointed every single time at the end. All those time, my mind focused on the negatives, like why was I the one to be abandoned when I'm as good as others. It is only after a while that my thoughts cleared and I told myself that I will train harder next time to prove that I'm better, not just as good as any others.
Since then, I've never missed a single training session. However, 2nd year was another big dissapointment because they picked other people ahead of me again because of my lack of ability in singles... I really hated myself at that time and I thought why did I even bother trying at all in a place where no people valued my effort and,to some extent, talent. I was ready to walk away from it all and quit this club altogether...
During the summer holiday break, I went back to SG and played in some competition with my cousin, who had been my doubles partner since our days in Indo. I told him that I was probably never going to play any baddie again when I leave for Oz (based on the reason above). He respected that decision, but added a comment 'Do what your heart really says' (in Hokkien, this is the rough translation :))... Obviously he knew it's not going to be easy for me to give it up, because both of us shared a passion for the game since we were kids...
Year 3 started. I was hesistant to turn up to training at first, fearing another heartbreak was in the making. However, after staying away from baddie for the rest of the holiday, I started feeling empty inside me. It's like a piece of me was taken away, & I'm no longer a complete person. I finally decided to give it a try again, & I'm glad that I made that decision. It's not just the achievement of being finally recognized, but it's also because of the support of some people when I didn't make it the 2nd time. A team member was actually offering me his place in the team,an offer which I declined because the team needs him more than me. At that point, I realized that it's not the spot on the team that matters the most, but the special relationship that I've built up with some people over this period of time (Although it's definitely even more special to be able to play w/ them obviously :).
I'm not the most religious person there is, but my prayers go with the team. I sincerely hope that they will finally get the long awaited AUG trophy, & when that happens, I will be the 1st one to cheer for the team, and even more importantly, for the sport that I love so much.....
I was talking to a close friend, & even though she was really sick with flu she still dragged herself to console me. We've always supported each other a lot, dating back to the days when we were in Trinity. She gave me an advice when I told her the situation: 'at the end of the day, badminton is not your career...', which pretty much cleared every doubt there is in my mind. It is true that it's never going to be my career, which I have no doubt is in business, but I can still promote the sport ala Tony Gunawan, my hero and role model... & that is the road I'm traversing on from now on....
posted by leonhart @ 2:20 AM
1 Comments:
At 1:45 PM,
Lil Mis A said…
Hendry! we want to keep playing baddie! please don't stop! thank for your support! you will always be here with us in spirit at AUG.
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