Inner Voice Of A Trapped sOuL

2010-01-09T03:54:00.003+11:00

Woo hoo! Received an unexpected sms today

Probably the best surprise I've received in the last few years =)

Black or white?

2009-12-24T02:55:00.002+11:00

You have heard of racism in football, racism in wars, but this will be taking it to a new level:

racism in the cyberworld as well??

2009-12-22T11:33:00.000+11:00

Waited the whole night for the sms that never arrived ...

Reminded me of what happened 3 years ago. Maybe it is a mistake afterall

Of christmas carols & tunes (Vol. 1)

2009-12-21T21:24:00.006+11:00

Met her for the first time yesterday...

We have 'known' each other for almost 9 months now,
It started awkwardly initially,
and it took a while for both of us to get warmed up to each other,
through the unexpected twist of her ups & downs in her relationships.

Unknowingly I began playing the counsellor,
Adding an unbiased opinion and steering her back into reality when she goes off course,
and slowly but surely she started opening up more & more,
and that was the start of our friendship.

We comforted each other in tough times,
and also shared our thoughts and dreams.
Our exchanges became more frequent,
and there was always these lingering thoughts:

How could we trust each other when we have never met before,
& will this dissipate if we meet up one day?
as in, what if our visions of what we think of the other are completely different from reality?
And should we actually take that risk & put all we have on the poker table?

We discussed it and quickly discarded that notion,
& decided to meet up yesterday as she'd only be in singapore for a few days.
After a long wait due to her getting lost in the orchard labirynth tunnels,
we finally met up, accompanied by the christmas tunes being played on a piano in the background.

She was exactly what I had expected her to be:
Demure, elegant, friendly and worldly.
I remember she had told me sometimes she can be a total klutz on bad days,
but yesterday was definitely not one of those days.

If my image of her had been reinforced through our meeting,
I think it will be the exact opposite for her image of me.
I tended to be ineloquent in front of the ladies I fancied in the past,
and this time it has proved to be the same yet again.

She'll be leaving the country tomorrow,
& I doubt I've left a strong enough impression on her.
Like she pointed out in her previous email,
it feels like she 'knows' me, but she really doesn't.

We won't meet again anytime soon,
and God knows when I'll be there to visit her.
but the one thing I'm sure of,
is that I have to fight for that future, and grab it with both my hands.

TCFS - Albert House 2002

2009-10-28T17:42:00.003+11:00

Trinity Foundation - Albert House 2002

Feeling nostalgic.... Apart from Derrick, I have no idea where the rest of people in the picture are. Gone are the days when we would study together in the small coffee room on the 2nd floor, preparing frantically for the forthcoming maths exam, & then ended up chit-chatting non-stop instead of doing real work =)

Looking at the date in this picture, this must be taken after our final exam when we were having our almost-routine supper at Universal. Didn't expect that to be the last gathering we'd have, since we've practically never had another outing together since then.

Hope you guys are doing great! =) I really miss the great times we shared....

2009-10-25T14:33:00.005+11:00

Finally had 3-4 hour of good sleep last night, after 4 nights of rolling around on my bed without even getting a single minute of shutdown time!

Tried every trick I knew of that would work previously: alcohol, sleeping pill, reading before bedtime, etc. Amazingly none worked this time, & even the sleeping pill which was so ever reliable previously didn't too. I remember getting up at around 3 am & I was still feeling 100% alert mentally, although the rest of my body did become wobbly. I hope that's not an indication that I've built up resistance to the current medication and forces me to upgrade to a stronger dose!

Anws, after feeling so terrible for the past few days (and ironically too I had the most work to do in those few days during the last month!), today I'm finally feeling much better. It got so bad that even a 4-hr sleep became the ultimate tonic for me, even though it'd have done nothing for most other people.

Actually I remember getting forcibly awakened up this morning at 7 only because I had a bad dream: a few disgusting crawlies (which happens to be the insect I hate the most!) roaming around our house. Those cockroaches, I must get even with 'em next time for disturbing my precious sleep!

I realised I haven't been posting a lot, but there will be more coming up next month, coz I'm finally getting my first BB! Sometimes when I'm on the road & I have so much inspiration to write, I don't always have my laptop with me, & once I'm back at home, I can't recall much of the things I wanted to express. Since BB comes with data plan, I guess it'll be much easier for me to do it on the go!

Anws, to end this post, I'll leave you with the pics of my beloved niece =) she's 7 months old now, and has been the source of endless joy for all of us. Hope it does the same for you too! @Have a great weekend!

2009-09-15T01:17:00.000+10:00

3 level to working:

1) something you're passionate about
2) something you're good at
3) something that keeps you paid & alive

I think I'm at no.2&3 at the moment. Haven't found the cause to elevate me to No.1, and even if I do manage to find it, it's probably not gonna be covering no.3 for me...

Guess I'll be stuck in doing something I'm moderately good at, but at least it'll keep me alive for now..

2009-09-08T14:49:00.005+10:00

Sleepless nights...

Random bouts of insomnia is back. Last night I tossed around for 6 hours, and felt so lethargic this morning I felt like vomiting. Prob is, I've already promised my grandpa I'd accompany him to the bank early in the morning. Figured I wouldn't get to sleep anyway, so I woke up early and did some work.

Now, here I'm, tired, listless & practically zombie-like, trying futilely to keep myself awake for the next few hours coz I've to call my Europe customer in a few hours. Such a living torture =(

Anyway, found this really amusing:

Taken from graphjam.com

2009-08-07T03:08:00.002+10:00

I've made an empowering choice over the past few days.

I know I have to do it, or I will definitely regret it in the future. I don't want to be 50 and look back, 'I could have really done that but decided against it because of the exorbitant cost involved'

A few of my closest family members have advised/would have advised me to NOT go for it, since it didn't exactly bear satisfactory result previously.

But hey, life is about taking a chance right?? Wondering 'what might have been' will only make me regret my folly in the future, and as much as possible I wanna try to limit that.

So, my decision is pretty much made up, and I'm currently doing research on those 'MH' that would help me with it.

Wish me luck, coz I'll need lots of it! (& fingers crossed I'll come back 'stronger' than ever!)

2009-08-03T00:08:00.001+10:00

The truly devastating & indeed shattering experience is to know what is gonna come,
Being powerless to overcome it,
& not being able to stop the inevitable,
watching it slowly, but surely, wilting away,
& along with it,
losing the original 'I'm young, & I've got the whole world under my feet' spirit & confidence...

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This ain't what I've thought it'd be at all...

2009-07-31T13:43:00.002+10:00

'Don't let the floodgate open,
If you haven't meant for it to flow'

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These few days I've been really unmotivated to post up anything. Instead I've been checking out random websites, hmm well not that random actually since it's actually recommended by CNN.com. These news dudes sure know how to have a good laugh or two amidst the flurry of news coverage around the world =p

so here you go:
1) GraphJam
2) Safety graphics
3)calorie heaven/hell

Particularly liked the GraphJam! It's hilarious!

Have a great weekend everyone!

How to ace your course in SMU

2009-07-20T02:41:00.002+10:00

LOL I was laughing non-stop for a good 5 minutes over this! If only I've seen this video earlier when I was in the college =p

2009-07-17T02:53:00.003+10:00

I can be really contradictory sometimes...

Two days ago I was thinking, 'I don't want the mundane life/relationship of just discussing daily minor stuff, WITHOUT being able to connect on deeper philosophies'

Yet today, as I was walking back from my late night badminton session and witnessed the many couples that strolled past, I thought, 'wouldn't it be great to have someone always waiting at home when I'm back?'

While that idea was roaming in my mind for a good 15 mins (that's the time for my MRT ride back home), I wondered if those pairs that I saw earlier were all soulmates, or whether they were just people who pined for companionships, regardless of whether their partners are really the 'chosen one', ie. those who can understand and accept them for who they are.

I guess there's some overlap in the 2 schools of thought, but in a big city like SG sometimes one just gives up trying after looking for so long.

I hope I won't have to be in that position next time...

2009-07-15T03:18:00.002+10:00

Life's such an irony...

Today I was forcefully reminded of the phrase 'you never treasure what you have till it's gone...'

I do acknowledge that I'm blessed in some other aspects, BUT sometimes I really wish to trade in ALL the things I have right now for just that 'something'.

That's something that I believe will give me a fresh lease of life, and even if I have to start all over again I would still say 'yes' within a heartbeat.

Alas, life is not a simple trading game, and although I know many people would probably trade that 'something' that they have for my own 'little package', there's no way it's gonna happen, even if both are willing parties...

Guess I'll just have to live with it & be content with what I have...

2009-07-12T21:40:00.003+10:00

Feeling melancholic again. Quoting a much-used phrase by the ladies, 'it's that time of the month again'

Sitting alone in the ferry, I started wondering if I've made progress at all, if any, for the past 3 years that I've been back at Singapore...

Progress is an easy word to say, but difficult to define.

Signing off....

July update

2009-07-05T22:34:00.004+10:00

The past 1 week has been the worst in my recent memory. Certainly haven't had that much stress since I came back from Melb, so that's a good 3 years down memory lane.

So basically 3 important events occured simultaneously, & none had the result that I wished for. Well I'm still really awaiting the outcome of two, but I doubt they'll turn out good. I wasn't that close to a breakdown yet, coz there're still stuff that I can do to salvage the situation over the next 2-3 weeks. & If it turns out that it can't be done after all, there's always the alternative plan to break out of the deadlock. Hence I'm not that much worried, as opposed to being frustrated because the things I've been working on always failed me in the end.

Tomorrow's another new day, and I know it'll be a better one than today, because the worst is over!

2009-05-28T02:16:00.002+10:00

I was back at Indo for 2 weeks. Well, it was supposed to be only a weekend trip, but one thing led to another, and I ended up staying there for a fortnight =) It was pretty fun this time though, coz I got to explore places that I haven't been to before even though we've been living there for 6-7 years now? Let's just say I had someone to show me around this time, & that made it easier!

Apart from the fun, I also did a fair bit of work & research into what I was planning for our biz expansion. China's stay is probably cancelled, but our plan has still everything to do with the Land of the Dragon Descendants. It's gonna start with my planned trip to China in October to tour a few places (hopefully Derr can join me and be my tour guide!), and then followed by another exhibition visit to Guangzhou in December. Hopefully everything follows on well from there!

Next week I'm gonna be @ Surabaya. It's gonna be a very, very important trip this time as I'm now fully in charge of sourcing for my main customer ie. I'll be his sole broker/supplier. Tough negotiations to follow, but that's only gonna help my biz negotiating experience. Already enlisted the help of my shipping agent to notify the new factories of my visit, so I hope it'll turn out all right. Orders are gonna skyrocket from now on, so I'll have to find a reliable factory to take charge of all our orders.

Following that will be a trip to Athens to visit my customer. I wanted to push back this trip as I want to visit Melb instead this year, but recently some turns of events have forced me to make this trip ASAP in order to keep the customer in our stable. It's a long overdue trip anw, & I'm actually excited to visit a place where I've sent hundreds of containers to now (without knowing its full purpose lol!).

I'll miss Melb, but hey, Athens is Melb's sister city, so if I don't get to go there this year, at least I'll be snugging its sister! (ok that's pretty lame I know!)

8 cities & 4 countries in 6 months. It's gonna be awesome!

Ken Lee, the new pop sensation!

2009-05-10T03:42:00.002+10:00

Since I have nothing better to post up at the moment, here's a funny video my cousin found:

Valentina Hassan is a worldwide singing sensation now! 12 million hits & counting. Also spawning her own fan clubs around the world, as revealed in the interview below:

They also showed her performance to the original performer Mariah Carey, who gave her the appraisal:

& finally, the Bulgarian idol invited her back to do an encore performance on her worldwide hit! Notice how her english has improved:

Don't you just love Youtube?

2009-04-26T03:18:00.002+10:00

There hasn't been a lot to update lately. These past 2 weeks has been really mundane, save for the visit of my lil' niece to sg for her immunization jab 3 days ago. She's getting cuter & cuter by the day! Babies are definitely more responsive to sights of the people they like when they are at least 3 months old! Now whenever we try to play with her, she'll flash her 1000-watt smile that just melts everyone's heart =)

That's one of the main reasons that makes me reluctant to relocate permanently overseas; I won't get to watch my lil' nephews and nieces grow up in the future. Yet there's my ambition calling elsewhere, and right now there's a chance to break through the stalemate I'm currently in. It's still on the sketch pad, but we expect to conclude it within 1 month. If it goes through, it will mean I'll be leaving everything behind: family, business, the familiar surroundings, etc. It'll be a fresh start all over again, and as much as I was thinking of relocating back to melbourne previously, it has become harder & harder now to do so with so many relationships I've to forsake in order to achieve that.

Comes down to the question of whether I want to live a peaceful life within my loved family circle, or to live up to my potential and test my mettle in the business field. I really relish the challenge & just thinking about the boundless opportunities already makes me filled with energy.

Expect next 2 weeks to be really draining on my mental power as I have to make my decision before discussing 'the' plan in further details...

Only at Indonesia...

2009-04-01T04:12:00.008+11:00

Found some hilarious stuff posted on facebook recently in relation to Indonesia's coming election. Here are some posters:

These displays look more like movie posters than election billboards! Personally like the Gandalf (Lord of the Ring) personification in the upper middle part lol. Apparently anyone with white beard can pass off as the legendary wizard haha.

Next up,an array of hot-aspiring-to-be-politician ladies!

Left poster reads, 'who says pretty gal can't bring forth the aspiration of the masses?'

Centre poster is quite dumb really. Apparently the one campaigning for a seat is the father of a famous singer (I googled her name and found that out haha coz I don't recognize any indo artists), & he puts under his name 'Cynthia Lamusu's (the artist's) father'. Apparently when you've got a hot singer daughter, you stand a better chance of being appointed to the Senate, regardless of whatever you've done for your community. Not. Anyway, don't be surprised if this tactic works out for him. Coz it's Indonesia. and admit it, sex does sell everywhere.

People from all walks of life at Indo aspire to be politician. From tiger tamer, funky artist, security guard, salon owner, road sweeper, and also the unemployed. Oh well at least there's someone who thought out of the box. He left his billboard in the middle of a lake, where no one would fight with him for attention. Really smart move. At least he has got my vote already.

oh btw the bottom right corner poster reads, 'if you want to find job, vote for me! If you don't, I'll be the one out of job... hahaha (this part is really in the poster!)' Definitely aiming high in terms of his job search! The poster at the lower part (2nd from left) reads 'True leaders serve the people they represent'. Gotta give it to him for his 'service' to his community!

Now you ask, with so many candidates to choose from (all with their creative pitches), wouldn't the people be confused? If you ask me, there's ONE & ONLY winner which has captured my vote:

Poster says 'Don't choose me because I'm:

- Not a candidate

- like to rip-off the society

- never does anything for the community

- gives empty promises

- corruption is my hobby

- respect all the corruptors'

This guy has got to be the most honest wannabe politician there was, is and ever will be at Indonesia! These are what all indo politicians are thinking in their mind, but no one ever has the guts to admit it. Kudos for his honesty, & he's certainly gonna win a landslide victory in his state election!

Somebody has gotta hire his campaign manager coz that dude must be a genius!

Liberation

2009-03-27T03:43:00.003+11:00

Today I did something that I haven't done in the past 2 years. It's something so simple, yet I've actually forgotten how it felt like before.

happiness doesn't have to come from big events. Even a small achievement like today's brings so much satisfaction, although I'm still getting used to the attention (or the lack of it).

Never felt so great! Life's wonderful again =)

2009-03-24T02:50:00.001+11:00

Alcohol and Broadway music... Weird combination, but strangely it works for me =)

Update

2009-03-22T15:29:00.006+11:00

Past 2 weeks has been an extremely busy period for me. Due to several things happening all at once, I had the unenviable task of coordinating logistical side of the many problems that occurred.

It started with my trip back home to Batam to visit my little niece giselle xelenia, who's 2 weeks old now. She's the cutest thing ever, but who doesnt say that abt their own little cousins/nephew/nieces right?

That was the fun part, and then came the news on the day when I was supposed to return to sg (last saturday) that my grandma had been diagnosed with stroke, so I decided to stay behind and tag along to the hospital to find out what happened. Well actually we found out she had a stroke after we got her to sg, coz the incompetent batam docs couldnt find out what's wrong with her, and actually told us it was ok to bring her home!

Her condition deteriorated on the 2nd day, so we rushed her to sg and I had to organize everything from ambulance, making the booking with the emergency ward and specialists, as well as picking her up from the harbour. Now it wouldnt be that bad if my mom wasn't scheduled to have her surgery on the 2nd day of grandma's hospitalization, and to top it off their locations aren't exactly the closest in distance!

Anws, mom's surgery was a preventive one (typical female prob with cervix and uterus) and it went smoothly, so now she's already back at home for recuperation. First 2 days was pretty bad for her as painkiller on the drip made her drowsy & giddy, so doc took it off and she felt quite a fair bit of pain. Now she's just on regular panadol, so everything's back to normal.

Grandma's case wasn't so straightforward though, and her brain got affected big time by the stroke. Doc pointed out to me one major brain vessel was completely gone on the right side, so she's having difficulty with speech and swallowing, on top of the loss of control on her left side of her body. Other smaller vessels have also thinned considerably, putting her at risk of a 2nd stroke for the next few years. Now she's already back at Batam, and we've hired private nurses to take care of her for 24 hrs, along with physiotheraphy and acupuncture sessions. Doc mentioned 1st month after stroke is the most crucial time, so hopefully she'll be able to regain some of her body functions after that.

So this ends my hectic 2 weeks. There's a silver lining in every cloud though, and here we proudly announce the arrival of our latest family member, Giselle Xelenia! I'll leave you with the pictures of the cutest baby in the world =)

Money, the root of all evil?

2009-03-10T02:23:00.002+11:00

It is the taboo word in any friendship, and it is suffice to say that unless you're a multi-millionaire, it will remains so for a long time to come. I learnt it the hard way...

Ok so the story goes that a friend from m'sia required a large sum of money for 'family emergency' back in november last year. We've known each other since our days at melb (so it must have been a minimum of 3 years already), and till then I've known her to be a reliable person, and I've regarded her as a trustworthy one as well.

So when she came to borrow the money from me then, I lent to her around 90% of the fund for my personal use (five digit figure in sgd). I really didn't hesitate back then as I thought it was an emergency, and I trusted her words that she'd pay me back immediately when her cash flow got better in december.

Fast forward to March 2009, and not a cent has been repaid yet. Zilch.

I didn't need the money then, and nor is it that important to me now. While it is true that I could have put it to better use (ie. on holiday trips or buying my favourite Seiko or Tag Heuer watches!) if it still remained in my account, I wouldn't be struggling without it.

It is just the fact that she didnt even bother to explain to me what happened with the money and if she intended to make repayment at all. In fact, until I called her 1 week ago, I haven't heard from her since she took that pile of cash from me back then.

If she had called and explained to me she had been in a tight spot these few months, and she needed to take a few more months before she could pay me back, I'd have accepted it and perhaps even help her by pushing back the repayment date till she's more comfortable.

I just hate the fact that there's no accountability to whatever my money is used for. Since I had no hesitation at the beginning to make a five-digit loan to her, shouldn't she be obliged to at least call me up to say 'thanks' after her problem is resolved?

I told myself that if she didnt intend to pay me back, then I guess our friendship was just worth that five-digit figure to her. Since I was prepared all along, I guess I shouldnt be complaining, but I'm pretty dissappointed that it should come down to this.

Well there's nothing I can do about it now, so the ball is entirely in her court, and till she hits it back I won't have a shot to play.

Definitely won't be holding my breath for this game....

2009-03-04T03:36:00.002+11:00

Mom has been preparing home cooked food for the past few days since she came to visit. Living outside means slowly (but surely) getting bored and tired of eating outside, and yearning for home cooked food which I always tried to avoid back at indo (coz eating out with friends was the 'cool' thing to do!).

Feel so blessed!

The road less taken

2009-02-27T03:03:00.003+11:00

Who will be the one I'll think of first
to share my troubles with when I'm down,
to tell me her daily quirks & routines,
& to enjoy the fruits of my hard work?

This one person,
the source of much joy & pain,
the origin of many desires & thoughts,
torturous it may be, & I've tried to let go, but to no avail,
remains the motivation for me to excel.

Whenever I've problems which she knew of,
she'd initiate a chat or write me a message,

to which I'm happy & grateful to have such a friend,

but in her outstretched hand I found only bits and scraps,

never enough to fill my almost-empty soul.

Life's such a dilemma,
pining for her care & concern,
but when she does, albeit only sparingly,
I asked myself if it was better not hearing from her at all,
as it only brought further pain with no solutions.

Dejected, I trod forward indecisively,
Not knowing where the path leads ...

2009-02-25T17:42:00.002+11:00

I hate the days of sitting idle and not be rushing over things, but there's only so much to do nowadays...

I've been contemplating taking a programming course for a while coz I've quite a lot of free time on my hands now. Stories of how Iphone program developers made their names (& big bucks!) really inspired me to learn it, coz with a little creativity it just might change someone's life forever. It's definitely not the next Google or Dell, which were also started from a dorm bedroom and basement garage respectively, but it would definitely help in contributing to the passive income.

ok shall pick up some brochures on where I could learn all these skills, or maybe I'll just start with the dummy book for programming first =)

2009-02-19T21:58:00.002+11:00

Last year I was the aspiring young businessman/opportunist who thinks he has got the world under his feet, and looking to expand his ventures far & wide into different fields.

This year that wall of impenetratable optimism and enthusiasm has slowly been eroded by the surge from the effect of economic crisis. Cancelled long term orders mounted through the roof, and yet the cost prices have kept on increasing due to crazy buyers from Taiwan and Japan who kept on offering producers ever more money in the declining economy.

Hard times call for changes to be made, and the time may have come for me too. There's opportunity abound if I return to Indo, but yet I'm still mulling over the decision as I'll lose my Singapore PR status if I really do that. Better to be a successful businessman back home and make a comeback later, rather than sticking in a holed pit right? With the world economy not expected to recover within 2 years time, maybe it's time to start anew at indo and then revisit it in a a few years to come...

iStress!!

2009-02-07T02:20:00.002+11:00

Dilemma dilemma!

Can't make up my mind on which ipod speaker to buy: this, or this ......

Review for the former seems pretty ok but it lacks the function of the latter (FM radio, etc). It looks more stylish than the first one too, don't u guys think??

Don't have a lot of option coz I wanna keep it under 200 bucks haha. Already used up most of the cash from CNY in registering my new trading company, so gotta be prudent or I won't be able to go on trips later this year!

Travel plans for this year (if everything goes smoothly):

February 3rd week: KL & Penang (Planned Biz trip)
April, May, or June: Jakarta + Surabaya + Bandung (Planned Biz trip)
June or July (probable): incentive trip to HK if drinks business goes well
September: Melbourne + Sydney!!!
October or November: Athens (Planned Biz trip)

that about sums up my plans for this year. There will be small trips to other cities at indo if situation calls for it, but they should be pretty short ones even if it does happen.

Can't wait to drop by at Melb and the visit to Athens end of the year! Gonna work hard for those much awaited hols!!

P.S. leave me comments & help me decide which speaker I shld get or I'll never end up gettin' one =)

CNY update!

2009-02-05T00:05:00.002+11:00

I'm back from Indo finally! Apologies for the unreplied emails & abandoned blog, as internet connection at Batam isn't exactly available widely, and bro didn't install it at home. Had to stick to short biz emails as time was pretty limited because we had to visit relatives each day.

What was supposed to be a short 4 day trip became a full 2 weeks trip instead, and each day was filled with more or less the same activities: eating, eating... and more eating! That was really the first time I got sick of food, when normally I'd gobble up anything remotely nice on offer. I've never thought I'd get sick of seafood, but this time we had it for 4 days in a row! That's the craziness of having a large extended family I guess: Mom has got 3 sisters and 3 brothers on her side (7 altogether), and Dad has got 5 brothers and 6 sisters (12 all up!). So whenever there are any festivities, these uncles and aunts would take turn in treating us to feasts everyday, & those that are at Batam numbers around 10, so theoretically we'd have almost 2 weeks of foodie treats!

Did I mention my mom made some mean CNY cookies too? Her pineapple tarts are heavenly, and I swear I could finish it off by myself! There're also butter cookies, peanut butter cookies, & grounded peanut powder wrapped in spring roll (my 2nd fav after pineapple tarts!). I'd have put up some photos of it here, but they are now resting in peace in either my bro's or my stomach haha. I must have put up more than a pound of weight just by eating these stuff!

This year's CNY turned out to be pretty fun, & I received plenty of Hong Baos too. Sad to think that I will have to relinquish this God-given right and have the obligation to start 'spreading the wealth' in a few years time haha! For now though, I will put the money received to good use: there's an Ipod dock-cum-stereo set that I've been eyeing for a while, so I guess it's finally time for me to get that =)

How's everyone else's CNY????

New finance post

2009-01-17T18:52:00.002+11:00

This post covers review of the prediction I've made 1.5 years ago of the current market condition, specifically regarding the impending subprime crisis then. Here's the link:

http://lreveryonedead.blogspot.com/2009/01/hypothesis-on-subprime-market-issues.html

travel itch!

2009-01-13T03:38:00.003+11:00

Reading other people's entries on their travel accounts really stirs the travel itch in me again =( It's not exactly the best time with the current drastic downturn in the world economy, but we've all gotta have a target to aim for in order to be more motivated, even in a tough economy, right??

Ok I've decided on a trip back to melb in the Oct-Nov period! It's still a long way to go, but putting it here serves two purposes: 1)to keep myself motivated & more importantly, 2) to start 'booking' people on my around-Victoria-&-NSW trip!

Interested participants please leave a message or submit a travel plan to my email for further discussion!!

2008-12-27T17:16:00.001+11:00

Hello everyone! Yes I'm still alive =) Haven't been posting anything recently because there hasn't been any exciting new stuff to share. This month business is pretty quiet as customers pulled back their orders and postponed it to January 2009, so I have a lot of free time on my hands. Cousins are back from US for holiday, and today we're gonna try creating a banana walnut cake for x'mas, so hopefully it works out =)

I've been watching plenty of HK drama recently, and one that has really impressed me is Heart Of Greed. You guys can check it out online on Mysoju.com (under the HK drama section). English subtitles provided for those who don't understand canto! It's a great series that won the 2007 best HK drama award, and with many of its actors & actresses garnering acting awards too! Check out Moses Chan's and Linda Chung's performance in it! Really liked their performance as they carried me through the ups & downs of their intertwining lives.

Apart from that, I've travelled to both Medan and Penang on business trips recently. Everything is almost close to conclusion, but I shall wait till it's formally concluded before making the announcement here. That's 2 of my top projects next year, and I'm gonna be working hard on those! Merry X'mas everyone, and hope you guys have a wonderful X'mas eve!!

Finance post

2008-12-02T18:10:00.001+11:00

Been in the mood to write out my prediction for US economy and its currency as I've been watching the scene for more than 2 years now. This is my long overdue update:

http://lreveryonedead.blogspot.com/2008/12/us-dollar-future-trend-prediction-2.html

If you're interested in finance stuff, head to the address above. It's a light read forecasting the trend of USD using the models learnt in both Finance and Econs class back in the Uni days, MINUS all the hoccus-poccus words they used haha. I've toned it down to the language that can be understood by non-finance students ala BusinessWeek style (which btw is my fav biz reference book!)

For those who're not interested in Finance, check out the latest BoA dance video below (currently Derr's & my fave dance video!)

2008-11-29T02:55:00.003+11:00

I have received good news in the past few days, but I was too busy with a few new investments that popped up recently which required immediate attention, hence the delay till now.

I pretty much invested about half my net assets into the new ventures, coz I was looking to diversify away from the main biz that I had. My largest European customer contacted me around 3 days ago to resume the importing from us, but he is asking for a large discount because of the severe lack in demand from his customers. He told me the only reason that he's doing this is because he doesn't want to lose the good relationship that we've always had, and therefore we're trying to tide over the bad times with minimal margin to keep it going for the time being. Truly I'm flattered, & I've to account to my supplier too, so I'm leaning towards resuming business with him at the lower price for the time being. Once the world market starts to get better, options will definitely open up for more opportunities.

With every good news, there seems to be an avalanche of smaller bad news lying around. My restructuring plan met with obstacles recently because of a major quality problem with an existing supplier, and we ran into big trouble with our customers. My part was sorted out quite amicably as I had good relationship with my customer base, but our biz partner didn't do so well: he still hadn't managed to collect the 7containers' worth of payment. Our accts are separate, so it's not affecting me directly, but it does affect our purchasing plan from another new supplier as it means he doesn't have a customer base to serve anymore.

Adding to that, the one customer from Middle East that I was hoping could take 1/3 of the stock from the new supplier had met with slowing demand from his customers too, so basically we're left with very little alternative. Bulk quantity is very important in negotiating commodity prices, so as of now I only have an Oz customer committing to 1/6 of the new supply, and that's definitely not gonna keep the price down. Customers from Korea, HK, & Europe has basically stopped buying for the foreseeable future, so it's really baffling me on how to solve this current problem.

Letting go of the business seems very rash at the moment, as it was very profitable previously and I wouldn't be able to buy the stocks from the same supplier if we let go of them now. I also haven't found viable alternatives currently to serve as my current main biz, as all the new ventures I've invested in are only at their infancy stage, and it will take both dedicated time & effort to get 'em on track.

Arrggghhh!! Dilemma, dilemma =(

Does Flattery Always Prevail?

2008-11-24T02:40:00.006+11:00

No good news yet at the moment, but I feel like blogging today because one topic has been occupying my mind for the past few days, and I need to get it out of my system in order to get a gd nite sleep. Small things tend to bog me down & my tireless brain seems always ready to work/kick 'em out before it can give itself a good rest.

Anws, so the topic of the day is 'Simple Truth VS Flatteries'. By the latter term I really mean people who actually don't know what they're talking abt and always seem to get by, by either:

1) Conforming EAGERLY to the opinion of others, once there's simple majority in the votes (so as to always be on the good side of whichever party that's winning) OR

2) Presenting his/her contorted ideas which are based on absolutely NOTHING (read: plucked from thin air)

Many of you would have encountered people who fits the descriptions as above. In fact, many of us would have conformed to a certain extent, as this is one fact that's well known in the psychology circle. However, those who have conformed before would normally have their individual opinions on that particular matter, and that is the single difference separating the 'flatterers' from the average person in that aspect. Flatterers DO NOT have opinions of their own, and so in fact the word 'conformed' isn't even appropriate because they don't have their own stand in the first place, and only followed whichever side that's 'winning'.

It is the second point that annoys me the most, as these people can simply say whatever they want, and get away with it even though it might be the most idiotic stuff you'd have heard from someone. Ironically, these are actually the same people that are getting all the attention for the stupid/incoherent stuff they said. There are smart people 'marvelling' at their incompetence, and yet still be bowled over by them because they want to get into their circles and to be part of the 'hip' group. Yes you read that right. These are the same people who are getting everywhere in the society, compared to smarter people who're languishing in the back office because they're straight talking/honest dudes and aren't afraid to say to their boss's faces that the company's in trouble.

To illustrate this point, let me point to a gd example. I had a chat with my cuz quite some time ago regarding how we couldn't exactly fit into gwai loh's culture, both in Oz and USA, and because of that we were having trouble finding jobs even tho we landed interviews with many companies respectively. We're both quite passive ppl unless we're surrounded by familiar ppl, which is quite typical of indo chinese, so whenever we're interviewed, we're always doing straight talks with the interviewers, and more often than not that's where the arduous process of a job application comes to an end. We both know that even if the recruiter doesn't always point it out, it's always down to how they don't see us a a 'cultural fit' with the company.

In my case I've seen plenty of glib-talkers w/o any real merits securing jobs at the investment banks & other top grad works. These are the ppl I've actually worked with in group projects before & I was always amazed at how they could bulldoze through the whole presentation with big words that they use indiscriminately because they haven't prepared beforehand.

A closer example to both of us would be someone that both my cousin & I know have always spoken nonsense since the day we knew him/her, & always keen to flatter/to be flattered. 'His' gibberish really annoyed many, but yet because of the position of power he enjoys, and due to the fact that he's indeed pretty gd with words (in the nonsensical manner)and not many of the people in our circle is actually discerning enough to break down his words into facts and fictions, he always got his way around problems. He also landed jobs with the firms abroad, & both of us thought that it would be mostly due to the fact that he could twist her words like many ang mohs do.

Now, we're not saying all gwai lohs are like that. In fact we've met many very smart people who are obviously the stars of the future, and those truly deserved their places. Many of you (the regular readers of this blog) whom I know personally would have earned your rights to be in the positions you're in right now, and thoroughly deserved so too.

Well given that I'm not exactly looking for or in need of a job right now, I've not much of a reason to complain, but I do feel the injustice being done to honest(?)/straight-talking people. Why is it that honesty and wisdom are getting rejected in favour of flattery initially? If it isn't embarassing enough that wisdom is not valued highly, it certainly is disgraceful when someone whom you regard to be of morally corrupt can get into places where you can't.

Ok finally got it off my chest! Looking forward to a good sleep tonight =)

2008-11-19T03:46:00.002+11:00

Yes I'm still alive... barely....

Been having a lot of thoughts recently. Maybe it's due to the global slowdown which has affected my business quite a fair bit (Ok correction, this is definitely an understatement!), so I have very little to do until I meet my new supplier in early december.

With all the free time comes the extra thoughts, just like during uni days again. Obviously I haven't put it down here because they are mostly too personal stuff, and though I wouldn't mind sharing it, it would bore the hell out of anyone who still reads this blog or random blogsurfers who has found this through the labyrinth of the blog world.

One thing which I did consider is going back to the workforce. Ok misused term there: not actually going back, coz I've not held a job before, or at least one that pays good money. I'm pretty comfortable doing what I was doing if it can last, but as fate would have it, business downturn occurs in the most profitable period of my short history. Now that I'm left to fend for myself, it does feel a bit tricky as it's almost like navigating in uncharted territory.

Previously I've always had the support of my 2 largest customers who would take whatever stock I could source for them; Now with the credit crisis they're in trouble themselves because their own customers are unable to secure credit facilities from the banks, so their markets have pretty much come to a standstill. I still have lots of other smaller customers of course, but their demands come randomly, and in our business field that means we're unable to commit to large quantities with suppliers, hence jacking up prices.

Ok enough abt the biz problem. Haven't been in the mood to update because of the doom loom (hey I can still be lame so I guess I'm ok after all!), so I'll probably be more perky to blog if I get any good news in the coming days. Until then, so long my dear readers!

P.S. if you're checking this blog more than 3 times/week, you're probably as clueless as I'm abt the biz buzz (or the lack of it) right now, so gd luck to us both!

Resolution

2008-11-06T20:55:00.002+11:00

Lots of stress with work since I came back, & today's easily the worst... Need to vent my frustration on something before it really gets to me....

I've gotta streamline everything and finding a new supplier is the key to this plan. No more last-minute plans, stop-gap shipments, & nonsensical handling. Have to make sure everything is under my own sole control, and that's when I can get my independence back and not having to worry about trivial details anymore!

I can, I will, & I MUST!

US trip recap (part 1)

2008-10-31T13:23:00.004+11:00

Note: This post is written during my 10 hour wait at JFK, so I'm slightly grumpy coz it has just effectively extended a 20 hr flight into a 30 hr one..... very productive indeed... This is probably the only time when I would be thinking 'I'd rather be working my ass off now!', & trust me, that doesn't happen very often to me at all!

You know how students always tend to be busy with so many stuff during exam, eg. Cleaning room & apartment (hey it hasn't been tidied up for half a year now, so it's high time to do it!), reading blogs (I've gotta catch up on my pals' stories!), stocking up junk food (it's called emergency rations, aka 'war supplies/comfort/anti-depression food', stupid!), long overdue run in the park (I haven't moved stretched my butt muscles for half a year, so it's IMPERATIVE that I do it today!).

The list goes on & on, and the common denominator of all those is of course that they are activities that you will NEVER, EVER do in normal free time. The only reasons we are doing those are:
a) because we ASSUME other people will be studying, so nobody will be interested to go out

b) Even if some DO want to go out, we will feel guilty if we don't 'study' at home when the exam is only 1 week away

c) So we end up staying at home, but definitely NOT studying. Activities listed above make us feel we are at least doing 1 part right, ie. Staying at home and cutting off any contacts with the world for the exam duration, so we will feel less guilty if we end up getting a F, or in the world of the uber-smart like Dee, Jel, Kel, & Ben, a 'H2A' ('it's the FREAKIN' first time ever I've got anything with the digit '2' in it for final results!!). Point taken guys....

Anw, slightly digressing from the point I wanted to make earlier. I've meant to say working, at least for me, is exactly like the exam period, only this time you can't run or hide from it EVER AGAIN. All the creative evasive maneuvres that I've come up with during uni days certainly can't be used anymore, coz it definitely doesn't work out in the long term. Anws, it's more of a question of survival now, so not working is unquestionably NOT an option. Plus all those skills learnt up to this point would really be wasted....

Seems like this post has NOTHING to do with the title at all *chuckle* due to my incessant rantings, so while I'm at it I might as well hammer home another one. It has to do with my business, and apparently for the duration of 1 month when I have been on hols, much of the world around me has pretty much collapsed into heaps, dragged down by the financial crisis and the resurgence of US Dollar. I've spoken to my European customers and both said the demand from their customers is basically nil right now, as much of Europe expects a recession so everyone is pulling back on their spending. Those are my 2 biggest customers and account for 60% of my sales, so to lose both at the same time is definitely quite a shock. I've had to make changes to my original plans and to shift my focus towards customers from other regions instead, such as Australia and Middle East, which are only mildly affected by the downturn.

Gonna have to re-configure the whole supply chain again and consider dropping previous suppliers due to their inflexibilities. Oh well, there's always challenges in biz, & in fact Jack Welch once pointed out 'the only thing constant in business is change'. Will have to work hard to put everything back on track again, but I'm up for the challenge!

All right I'll be signing off here coz it's almost flight time. Real post on the US trip recap in part II!

Rythm Of Life

2008-10-27T05:02:00.006+11:00

My classification of anything in my surrounding area (in all aspects) is really simple: either I'm 100% sure, or anything below that threshold goes into the 'uncertain' bin. Admittedly, there would be very few things that I can put in the former, as those are the stuff that I believe would be able to stand the test of time, distance, & yeah basically anything that's put forward to it. It's a long process to move from the uncertainty to 'yeah, I know s/he will bail me out if I'm ever in trouble, NO doubts whatsoever, & obviously I feel the same abt it too' , so once I feel confident that I can lock it on, it's supposed to be as secure as a mountain. Supposed to be, anyway.....

It's definitely the comfort zone I thought I can lean on in times of trouble, & when the trouble is within the comfort zone itself, suddenly whatever order that was established had suddenly vanished. For me the idea of establishing close relationship would be celebrating the achievements of each other, while at the same time to be there to support each other in times of trouble. The basis of all this would be mutual respect, and learning to respect other people's achievements in their respective fields, while not looking to glorify your own.

The wall of trust was breached because the base of respect wasn't there, and truly, if it isn't repaired in time, even the slightest prodding would make it collapse next time, let alone the storms and gales that are forthcoming....

BROADWAY!

2008-10-17T01:59:00.017+11:00

After 2 days of street-wandering and factory outlet shopping, it's time to sit back, relax and enjoy the city life in Manhattan. What better place to start than:

Have got to say, NYkers love their theatres, musical and plays! The atmosphere is really upbeat as long queues formed outside more than 30 theatres, each waiting to get his/her prized ticket and eagerly anticipating its twice-daily perfomance. Billboards and ads are everywhere at Times Square.

Disney Broadway shows:

Lion King:

All great shows, I'm sure. However, I'm one of those sceptics who needs to be convinced of the value of anything I buy, & theatre ticket definitely falls into the list of 'To Be Evaluated'. So to be sure we're getting our money's worth, we bought the tix to the Phantom of The Opera (longest running Broadway shows: 20 years & going strong!) since it's supposedly the most well-known Broadway musical EVER!

Yes Phantom, take us to your lair tonight!

So we arrived at the Majestic theare (where Phantom has been/is still showing), and saw this:

Had to stand at the end of the queue around 50 metres from the entrance! The line moved pretty fast though, and we were inside within 10 mins.

Pre-Phantom chatters:

The famed Phantom stage:

With a bit lighting twist to make it feel more Phantomy:

& for the next 2.5 hours, we were taken into the amazing world of theatre performance. Magnificient performance/singing by the stage actors, out-of-the-world stage settings, & extravagant costumes filled the night as it brought priceless entertainment to the audience. No amount of superlatives would be sufficient to convey my appreciation for the show that was put on before us that night, & there was not a single moment when it did not carry us emotionally with it throughout the show. The music featured in the show was so touching and apt that I still have it ringing in my head right now! In a fitting ending, the audience gave a standing ovation to the great actors that gave us immense pride to just be there and witness the world-class performance, which is nothing more than what they deserve.

Particularly loved the perfomance from Marni Raab, who played the role of Christine Daae, the lead female role in Phantom. She looked so guile & vulnerable, yet possessed the strongest vocal the role asked for. Phantom has got to be the biggest stage she could ask for to display her talent, and she fully deserved to be there.

Went back that night thinking how crazy it'd be not to catch another Broadway show when we were still at NY, so we decided to get tix for either Mamma Mia or Chicago the next evening. In the morning while we were walking to the theatres to get the tix, I suddenly had a thought, 'hell, if both are gd, WHY NOT BOTH??'.... and that's what we ended up doing!

Mamma mia in the afternoon session:

Mamma Mia is a comedy/musical play, and although it lacks in the stage setting, it makes up for it it in the entertainment value. Enjoyed the show as the atmosphere was really uplifting, and definitely felt like back in the disco 70s!

& Chicago in the evening!:

Chicago on the other hand is a darker show with a classic feel. Again there wasn't much of a stage setting, as most of the stage is taken by the orchestra, which left the performers with little space to move about. Dark humor through & through, and definitely a must-watch for technical performances.

.... & that concluded my Broadway weekend. 3 different shows of 3 different genres in just 2 days! Undoubtedly, picking Phantom as my virgin Broadway experience has got to be a good decision because it really ignited the passion to watch more and more theatre plays, even though it did set a really HIGH bar for future shows.

.......... & if I forgot to mention it, YES BROADWAY IS WELL WORTH IT!

New York, New York!

2008-10-07T04:50:00.002+11:00

After an arduous 22 hour flight from Singapore to NY (via Frankfurt), I finally arrived at NY! Immigration dude hasn't been exactly friendly, and I was called into office for bringing USD 10k cash. I reasoned that I had to pay for accomodation etc etc, and stuff at his country isn't exactly that cheap to begin with, so 10k is a perfectly reasonable amt to bring. I guess he finally saw the point, but didn't let me go before asking why 10k and not any other amt, to which I replied that's just a random sum I decided on when I went to the bank! How many questions on the 10k do they need to ask b4 they could let me go???

Anw, first step out of the airport, I was greeted by an illegal taxi touter that I absolutely had no idea of at first. While we were walking to his 'taxi', an airport security rushed after us and shouted at me to stop. I was thinking 'ok, what now?' and stopped for him to catch up. He showed his security pass and told me to avoid those scammers & to take the metered yellow taxis instead. Thank God for him or I wouldn't know where I'd have ended up now instead of being in my hotel room!

Place I'm staying at currently is at a smaller suburb 15 mins away from JFK, as I'm waiting for my cuz to come from Atlanta before we 'upgrade' to Holiday Inn @ Manhattan. Haven't explored the area yet as I'm dying from the lack of sleep (grand total of 1.5 hours in the 22 hr flight), so I figured I'd catch a wink b4 heading out to explore whichever place tonight.

Add to that I'm also suffering from pretty serious jet lag. I found it quite amusing we never got out of darkness during the flight until the last part of Frankfurt-NY leg, as I started from midnite at SG and went backwards in time. That's also the first time I went into the plane clean-shaven and emerged with stubs!

More updates to follow after I figure out the geographic details of this area!

2008-10-03T02:47:00.004+10:00

Depression (Merriam- Webster Online Dictionary):
Main Entry: de·pres·sion
Pronunciation: \di-ˈpre-shən, dē-\
Function: noun
Date: 14th century

dejection (2):

'a psychoneurotic or psychotic disorder marked especially by sadness, inactivity, difficulty in thinking and concentration, a significant increase or decrease in appetite and time spent sleeping (CHECK), feelings of dejection and hopelessness (CHECK), and sometimes suicidal tendencies c (1): a reduction in activity, amount, quality, or force (2): a lowering of vitality or functional activity (CHECK)'

So I tick quite a few boxes in the definitions of the feared 'D' word... Does that mean I'm on the verge of sinking into one, or are they just random symptoms for anyone having an off day?

Too many things not going my way recently.... Actually nothing has ever gone right for me before. Lost my freedom ever since I came back, & on top of that I also had many personal problems related to work and family. I don't even know if I'm depressed anymore, coz it seems this is the permanent state I've been in since .... I can't even remember when. That's definitely a bad sign....

Nevertheless, I'm not gonna be passive and let it control me. I'm going to bounce back STRONGER than ever

More... & more sytycd!

2008-10-01T01:42:00.003+10:00

Can't get enough of these talented dancers! Season 3 has to be the BEST so far as there are so many potential winners! I know I definitely won't qualify as a technical judge for the contestants, BUT I definitely know entertainment when I see one!

Here's another of my favourites: Sarah Von Gillern (Bgirl who's also the most versatile in the show! Did I mention she's HOT too?)

Sarah & Neil Disco (THE ABSOLUTE BEST Disco routine so far in 3 seasons! Check out Neil's CRAZY backflips!)

Sarah & Pasha West Coast Swing (Coached by the American swing king, Benji Schwimmer, who's 'coincidentally' the winner of season 2 as well =)

While Sarah's & Pasha's was pretty good, check out the REAL DEAL (Benji & Heidi's West Coast Swing!) below:

Now onto Neil Haskell. He's the most technically gifted in season 3 without a doubt! & add great play-acting to his long list of talents too!

Neil & Lauren Hip Hop

Neil & Lauren Contemporary by Mia Michaels (Emmy winning choreographer)

Next, the Russian Sex-appppeeeaalll, as Nigel likes to call it, Pasha Kovalev! Christened the best Russian HeepHop dancer in the show, he was certainly one of the favourites early on. Somehow sytycd always managed to find a really hot Russian hunk to be in its show every single season, which obviously doesn't harm the TV ratings!

Pasha & Lacey Hip Hop (mannequin routine)

Neil & Lauren

Pasha & Lacey Smooth Waltz (expect this to be REALLY GOOD coz both are acclaimed ballroom experts!)

Pasha & Lauren Transformer!

All right that's all for now! Enjoy and hope all of you like it! These guys are awesome, & that's all I can say coz I'm still trying to pick up my gaping jaw from the floor after witnessing their talents!

2008-09-26T18:37:00.003+10:00

Caught this on channel 5 SYTYCD season 3 Ep 1 and cried for a good 5 mins after it ended:

Great choreography, and great dancers (Lacey in particular)to make this piece looks so effortless and conveyed the powerful emotions that's supposed to come with contemporary pieces.

Lacey's a SUPERSTAR for the way she always convinces the audience on any roles she portrays. Even Benji (her brother and winner of SYTYCD season 2), who was my previous favourite dancer in the show, could not match her at all. I remember telling my sister during the audition stage for season 2 when we saw Benji did his west coast swing with Heidi, and immediately proclaimed he'd be THE winner for that season because of his character and entertainment value. He didn't dissappoint of course.

Lacey's a notch higher: great entertainer, and adding to that she had the superior technique that Benji was lacking. She could adapt so fast to the new dance styles that she has never done in her whole life, and within 1 week performs it like a pro. That's required of all the top 20 of course, but to be SO gd at something that's not your element is definitely mind-bogglingly hard. It's like asking a tennis player to learn badminton within 1 week and play like a pro, and obviously those who has tried it will find it pretty much impossible.

So the Schwimmer legacy in SYTYCD lives on. I'm following Lacey's dances every week on channel 5, and although I know she didn't win it in the end (that's the bad thing about never being in the bottom 3 to do solos before, and hence not connecting on a higher level with the voters), she's still the greatest dancer I've seen so far.

Another of my fav lacey's pieces:

And another:

And another:

Lacey seems to glide through every routine, moving effortlessly, gracefully and weightlessly, floating across the stage as if she's skating on ice.

So You Think You Can Dance is the best show EVER!

Random

2008-09-26T03:14:00.003+10:00

Has anyone ever tried reading on while it is obvious that the mind is not exactly cooperating, ie. not focusing on whatever that is before you, and then you keep on reading only to realise that you didn't register/understand a single word when you finally snap out of it?

I guess it's time to sleep when that happens....

P.S. It's my cousin's & Dee's B'day today, so happy B'day to both of 'em! (*Thank God for fb!*)

The trappings of (my) family business...

2008-09-24T02:57:00.004+10:00

Working for/with (pick whichever one) my dad has got to be one of the hardest thing I've experienced so far. Just ask Bro. He warned me to try NOT to be involved in biz matters with dad if at all possible, coz he had already been left fuming so many times, & he's not even working for him!

Well I do understand he still has the old school business mindset, and also the fact that our business entails having to deal with the crude people who are still living in their self-built cocoons and have no idea whatsoever on how the world market works.

Lemme explain a bit on our work division. Dad works in procuring the stock needed, and I'm in charge of marketing and the occassional logistics matters. It has been working fine so far as we had our own forwarder and partner who's managing all the packing (sort of like a sub-con) and container loading for us, but right now the cost is escalating too much at indo and our partner decided to call it a day.

No big deal, I thought, and I told my dad we could always get all the packing done in the suppliers' respective factories before sending it out to the ports for loading. These suppliers turn out to be the biggest a**holes and refused to do us the favour even though we've agreed to compensate them for the extra costs involved.

& we've many customers in different regions, and each place demands a certain type of packing. In the past we let the sub-con handle the work for us, so it has never been a problem. Right now I'm having difficulty convincing customers to switch, and in fact only 1 large customer agreed to the switch so far. I could understand their concerns as their own customers have been accustomed to the packing that we did for them, so it'd be a hassle convincing them to switch straight away.

I relayed the message back to dad, and he didn't understand where the problem was and told me to discuss with the customers again on the issue. I swear I have tried it for a thousand times already, and there was still no progress at all. All this while, dad only said there was no other way out other than convincing the customers to switch to the standard packing from all the suppliers. When I told him I couldn't, he'd be complaining and saying that I didn't make the proper arrangements and waited till the last moment before discussing with customers, causing the problem. No matter how much I explained to him, it hasn't been of any use because he simply didn't get the customers' point of view.

Add the fact that he's not the kind of person who can actually sit down and explore the options available, before making an good/informed decision. I've lost count of the number of times I've tried to tell him there's always a way out once we sit down and discuss it, and each time he'll just get all flared up without getting anything solved. Obviously the problem dwells on and we're having a harder time than ever.

I'm tired of having to explain what I think is so self-explanatory, and seriously contemplating of putting myself back in the job market. I might be earning substantially less, but I guess I'd be happier, no? Plus there won't be straining on the family relationship if we don't work together in a biz setting.

Yeah so I'm officially tired, and I find the need of de-stressing very very necessary right now! USA trip in less than 2 weeeks, & I'm so looking forward to it now! Will think about the future work prospect once I'm back...

& in an attempt to de-stress as well, I bought this new gadget from OSIM two weeks ago. It's called UCrown, and it's supposed to be pretty good. I haven't tried a traditional head massage yet, so I have no basis for comparison at the moment. Will try that when I go back to indo next time!

& btw, when anyone is fully geared up in UCrown, they'll look something like the chelsea goalkeeper. In case you're not a soccer fan, here's a pic:

Excessively smart, or just plain stupidity?

2008-09-18T15:47:00.003+10:00

The past few days saw the near/collapse of many top financial institutions. Well, actually not many, because the actual number is only three. Add that to the previous Bear Stearns collapse a few months back, and the number increases by one. Still, that's only Four altogether. So what's the big deal?

Considering that those are three out of 5 top investment banks on Wall Street, the word 'many' is not totally misused. Bearn Stearns was taken over by JPMorgan in a move orchestrated by the Fed (which basically guranteed JPMorgan would suffer no losses whatsoever if the assets plunged dramatically in value), Lehman Brothers could not find any loans after its latest round of losses and announced bankruptcy faster than you could spell one of the TWO common words in the financial world (the other one commonly used on Wall Street these days being 'liquidation'), and Merrill Lynch, terrified of being the next victim, basically just sold itself away to BoA, albeit at a 70% premium over the market price, a rarity for any financial firms right now.

Right now, Lehman Brothers ranks as the top casualty in the subprime crisis, which totally dwarfs the previous record by 10 times in market value. The question is, isn't Wall Street supposed to be staffed with the cream of the crops of the financial world, the supposedly 'Ivy Leaguers' of the world? Are those people really as competent as they're made out to be, or are they just merely designing exotic financial items to pick up more fees than ever without considering the safety of its well-heeled clients?

If it is as per described above, then I guess they can be classified excessively and needlessly too smart for their own good, which brought them to their current collapse. It is also a case of plain stupidity, and this is for being totally absorbed in a case that can almost be classified as a scam. Subprime crisis should have been predicted a long time ago when cheap credit are made to people who have no way of affording it, and sooner or later the housing bubble is going to collapse and negate all the equities that people have taken out of their mortgage.

The same people that are handling your portfolio could be the ones who are blinded by the fees they are getting when they sell those toxic assets to unknowing investors, therefore the conflict of interest arises. If they haven't seen the danger coming, then they are not fit to become a financial consultant. Either way, they are still responsible for the mess created and basically shouldn't be trusted. Pity those that are sticking to their job descriptions and still end up getting the sack when their company is taken over, which in these days virtually means 'I'd better start packing my stuff' for many of the employees.

Goldman Sachs and JPMorgan are the only 2 largest surviving investment banks on Wall Street. They have lived on due to their CEOs' foresights to cut the subprime exposure to the minimum when the crisis loomed, and BoA has cemented its position as the largest bank now, having taken over Merrill Lynch to extend its reach to the investment banking, which it has traditionally been weak in. I do have to correct my previous statement on how the top bankers on Wall Street are not that 'super' after all, as most of them work at Goldman, one firm that's definitely not afraid of paying big bucks to attract top talents.

Anyway, considering that these 5 top investment banks have dealings with many banks around the world, be it consumer or other investment banks, the collapse of any of those would have repercussion effect throughout. In fact, it is predicted that 1000 smaller regional banks in USA might be in serious trouble after the latest problem on Wall Street, as they would have taken a serious hit to the valuation of their assets which are similar to those that the investment banks own. Domino effect is likely to continue, and once it is fully played out, only those at the front of the rows are still standing strong to gobble up whatever prime assets there are after all the subprimes are cleared.

In the case of AIG, the largest insurance group in the world, its collapse would bring about the largest financial catastrophy in the history, far surpassing the collapse of Lehman Brothers. Other than insurance, it also dabbles in swaps and hedging, and in fact one prominent analyst pointed out that:

'AIG may have more say over the oil price than the Saudis do'

Since Maurice Greenberg vacated the AIG hotseat a few years ago, it has taken a change of direction under the new boss, and did much worse than ever. This year alone the stock plunged 92%, and after the latest Fed's USD 80 billion bailout in exchange for 80% equity, the equity for the existing shareholders is almost non-existent.

As Warren Buffett once said of the exotic derivatives:

'in our view, derivatives are weapon of mass destruction, carrying dangers that, while now latent, are potentially lethal'

The Sage of Omaha has again been proven correct in this instance, and would no doubt be laughing all the way to the bank as he seeks to pick up precious scraps of large firms while inspecting the financial ruins on Wall Street now, which is most likely going to spread all over USA soon.

Deep in the blues.....

2008-09-14T22:46:00.004+10:00

This title represents 2 contrasting moments that I've experienced in the past 2-3 weeks, but I'm gonna write about the darker side in this post as it's closer to what I'm feeling right now.

For some pics on my Bangkok trip, on which one of the higlights is the HUGE aquarium at the basement of Siam Paragon, click on the picture below:

A single picture tells a thousand words, so I guess it'll be much more informative than my minimal descriptions if I do end up writing about it here.

WARNING: INCESSANT RANTING & WHINEY SELF-ARGUMENT AHEAD! PLEASE TURN BACK IF YOU ARE NOT READY!

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

All right it's not exactly that bad. Just one of the days when I have nothing planned, so I got out and settled some admin stuff ahead of the work week (depositing cheques, posting letters & documents, etc). It took less than an hour, & I was contemplating what I could do with the few hours till I had to go back. Thought of catching a movie, but decided against it when I realised my mind was in a mess and I just wanted peaceful, soothing moments.

While I was walking around aimlessly, with Ipod earphones firmly plugged on to my ears, I contemplated the meaning of life once more. & I tell you, Ipod has got this innate capability of sensing one's mood, playing all the 60s & 70s music that I hardly knew that they existed. Brought out the melancholic feeling which made the atmosphere even bleaker.

& I was pretty much thisclose to the border of sanity. It wasn't the first time I had too much free time to have my mind wandering off everywhere, so I already knew how to pull the plug when it got too serious for my liking. When that happens, I can just snap myself out of it by observing intensely on something nearby, therefore giving the brain something to focus on instead of letting it roam everywhere.

What exactly is the point of being able to control my own mind, when I consciously give it the chance to rest, and therefore allowing to leave carefree, you ask? For one, I find it invigorating as it unearths and gives me new ideas that I've never thought of. Brain is part of a person all right, but so much of it is being locked away as a treasure trove of information that we're definitely not fully utilising it. When I go into 'trance' mode, albeit still fully aware of the whole process, I find that the mind actually unlocks those data and puts it into the conscious part of the brain, making it available for use.

I asked myself, would life be easier if I didn't try to control it as much, and to let it go with the flow? People around me appear to be comfortable with what they have, & that's definitely something that I haven't achieved yet. Judging by reports on the newspaper on the top income range of different jobs, I should be quite comfortable with what I'm getting currently, but again I have no idea why I'm always striving to get more, to the point that I get fed up when I can't get some ideas working for me. If I'm not comfortable with myself, then I believe other ppl wouldn't be either. Having said that, knowing the problem is 1 thing, but solving it seems to be an entirely different matter altogether *sigh*

Is it the environment that I'm in that makes it hard to appreciate my own & other people's achievement? Should I seek to remain among the elite, or should I be comfortable & live a happier life instead? Why can't it return to what it used to be, when financial achievements don't matter and life's simpler?

Thailand, here we come!

2008-08-28T01:44:00.003+10:00

Off travelling to Bangkok exactly in 20 hours 30 mins! Planned this trip 2 mths ago, and certainly didn't foresee the events shown in the news this week:

1) Apparently there's a HUGE storm heading towards Bangkok anytime over the next 1 mth, & they have no idea when that will happen yet! It's predicted to be the most serious in 50 years (that just makes it sound really bad, doesn't it?), but the consolation is that the meteorological dudes could predict it at least 3-5 days earlier, so we'd have ample time to fly off if it does come during our stay.....

2) Huge demonstrations at the PM's office for the past few days, but I guess it's nothing new. Anti-PM parties organized the rally and have been trying to force the current PM to stand down, and apparently the crowd reached a few thousand people each day. Note to myself: steer clear of the demo area!

Leaving with an empty luggage tmr as we expect to fill it up with our shopping spree! Will try to take pics and post it when I'm back next monday =)

Why Singapore desperately wanted Pedra Branca

2008-08-24T00:10:00.005+10:00

Received this in the email a few days ago. In case you have no idea what it means, ERP stands for Electronic Road Pricing, and they have these gantries all around the small island now. Pretty much impossible to run away from it if you're driving, but it does help in regulating traffic. In fact, London has even sent delegation to Singapore to study the implementation of a similar system in UK!

Could really see the scene in the picture play out once Marina Bay and Sentosa Cove are fully built up in 2 years' time, where all the rich men with their yatchs clogging the marine traffic, so ERP on the sea is not too far away in the horizon!

'Dude, how many times a day do I have to see your ugly face?'

2008-08-17T02:34:00.004+10:00

Caught plenty of Olympics action on TV since it started more than a week ago, courtesy of Mediacorp's Channel 5 and Channel U, which had been beaming live actions of different disciplines for more than 12 hours/day.

Perhaps the greatest action on all was set on the stage of Water Cube, the much acclaimed Aquatics center that was specially built for the Olympics 2008. It was here that one of, if not the most, greatest triumph of all time would be staged. A certain Michael Phelps, the water creature that is cleverly disguised as a human, has won 6 gold and 2 bronze medals in the Athens Olympics as a 19 year old, and is bidding for the unprecedented feat of 8 gold medals in a single Olympics.

The media had hyped up his target so much that it was impossible to miss the daily report of his condition leading to the Games. His home country, USA, had been in full anticipation of his potential achievement and requested the swimming events to be held in the morning, when usually it is always held in the evening in all swimming competitions, so as to accomodate the USA evening viewing time because of the time difference.

Perhaps what was not known was the many rivals that Phelps would have in his bid as he would be swimming in different styles & distance. He's unmatched in personal freestyle & medley, shattering his own world record by more than 2 seconds each and lead the field easily. To get to his target of 8 gold medal however, he had to swim in 3 relay events, and those were linked to the abilities of his US teammates as much as his own. The US team was very strong in the freestyle event and remained one of the top teams in the other styles, even though competition remained very keen from the other teams as well.

It was in the medley relay event that Phelps almost lost his bid shortly after his personal medley win. If not for the heroics of his teammate Lczak, who clawed back half a body length distance from the impressive French in the last 5 metres of the race and ended up winning by 0.06 sec, Phelps would have been thwarted in his bid on only the 2nd day of the competition.

The greatest drama was left on the 2nd last day of his swim events, when he competed in the 100m personal butterfly. At the turn, Phelps was not among the top 3 and he started powering through only in the last 20 metres. The Serbian Cavic was leading throughout, and looked odds-on to clinch the gold medal. Phelps had other idea obviously, and finally brought home the 7th gold medal by the slimmest margin: 0.01 second! Replay showed that Cavic already had his hand stretched out for the wall while Phelps was still in his last stroke about 1 metre away. Owing to the length of his hand (which was reported to be close to 2 metres from one fingertips to the other when he's fully stretched out), he managed to touch home and won his 7th medal!

I've got to admit I've shed quite a few tears and my heart must have skipped a few beat everytime there was serious action in every sports, especially when Phelps was on the TV screen. Each time I witnessed how he tried his best, albeit looking effortless in breaking world records that were painstakingly set by himself or other great swimmers, tears always started to well up before I realised it. It was with great effort that I manage to stop it from streaming down each time, only to have the process repeated in the next event. I guess it is because I could identify & understand the struggle and the competition that it takes to become the world's greatest, although obviously I was never even close to that stage.

He had already been anointed the greatest Olympian of all time on day 4 as he had managed to accumulate 13 gold & 2 bronze medals from 2 Olympics, easily surpassing the 9 gold medals record owned by only 4 0ther Olympians. However, the true test of his greatness would come tomorrow, and this time he would need the assistance of his teammates once more for the relay event. They had blitzed the world record in freestyle relay, cutting more than 3 sec off the clock. Would they be able to win gold no.8 for Phelps, and in the process help him to become THE ONLY Olympian to win 8 gold medals in ONE OLYMPICS? The world awaits.....

Update: Phelps, with the help of his teammates, won the 4x100 medley relay in the last swimming race in the Water Cube, confirming his status as the Olympian who has won the most gold medals in a single Olympics! His achievement is unlikely to be surpassed anytime soon, with the previous record of 7 gold medals held by Mark Spitz standing for 30+ years before it is shattered by Phelps. The fact that he's only 23 years old and that he possibly still has 2 more Olympics left in him makes the prospect even scarier. For now, bravo to the phenomenal Phelps, and looking forward to the London Olympics in 2012 to once again witness his greatness!

Time, The Inanimate

2008-08-13T15:52:00.005+10:00

Putting on a brave front, I strode forward,
Battered on the emotional battlefield,
& indelible scars 'bestowed' by the ruthless captors,
silent tears welled up within.

& time waits for no one,
while one is grieving & entering plea bargains with God,
deterioration persists in its relentless march,
trapping the fragile entity in a strong pincer grip.

Inevitably, choices have to be made,
to weep in despair, wallop in self-pity, and sink into the 'D' quicksand,
or to buckle up and get onto the highway to redemption,
& while most will take the path in-between,
I'm determined, more than ever, to prove to myself,
that I'm worthy of you....

2008-08-12T02:45:00.002+10:00

A single picture does tell a thousand words.... Shall try to put more colours and visuals to this dull blog soon!

Felt kinda sad today as I had to witness the downfall of an Indonesian sporting legend on TV. Still only 27, he had won the Athens' Olympics gold medal for Badminton men's singles, and while his peers with older age had pressed on with their pursuit of the next medal, Taufik Hidayat had really dissappointed his millions of fans around the world. Known in the badminton world for being the most outrageously talented of his era, he lived up to the hype by winning Olympics in 2004, and followed it with a World Championship the following year.

Soon after reaching the top, his performance on the circuit started to drop drastically, and even though he was still ranked in the top 10 all along, he had never managed to challenge the dominance of the top 2 players in the world anymore. He could have been a much greater player as he not only had the flair, but also the composure to succeed at the very top level, never panicking even when his opponents were at a better form. Success had gotten the better of him, and he started losing his form as his superstar status afforded him the luxurious life, something of a taboo to top athletes.

Losing tamely to a former world no.1 player, Wong Choon Hann of Malaysia, who had bounced back from serious injuries himself to compete at the top level, Taufik had lost his aura of invicibility that once blanketed the whole badminton arena. It was perhaps just as well that he lost earlier, as none of his fans would want to see him getting pummelled by top players such as Lin Dan, his long time nemesis and current world No.1.

Although it is a pity to see such a bright talent dropping out of the game at such an early stage of his career, it is perhaps better to focus on his glorious past and celebrate his past greatness rather than dwell on his current shortcomings. So here's to Taufik, the once revered Indonesian badminton prodigy that had graced the many top badminton tournaments with his legendary skills (especially his backhand smash): you will still be a hero in our eyes, despite all the current difficulties you are facing now!

Revisiting sg secondary sch days....

2008-08-08T03:25:00.005+10:00

Spot me in this pic! (Try not to look at the names listed at the bottom of the pic for added difficulty!)

Then try this pic (taken on the last day of school before O level exam)

This was definitely one of the best times of my life. Btw, there are 9 indonesians and 3 chinese nationals in our class, out of a total of 30+, so basically 1/3 of our class was made up of foreigners. See if you could spot them in the pics!

For added incentive, the first person to point out the position of 6 indos and 2 chinese (from china, not from sg) would receive a secret gift during my trip to Thailand at the end of the month! Postage included, wherever in the world you are right now!

A conqueror's story

2008-08-04T01:03:00.006+10:00

He personified grace, style, power, & dominance on court, combining superb strokes, astute strategies and fleeting footwork on 4 different court surfaces, proving they are no obstacles to his obvious talent & greatness. Already on 12 grand slam wins, 2 shy of the 14 record held by Pete Sampras, and still only 26, he's definitely on course to surpass Sampras's achievement and be an all time great of the sport. He's King Fed, a.k.a. Roger Federer, the Fed-Express.

His Spanish nemesis, a certain young man named Rafael Nadal, has been his number 2 for as long as I could remember, providing more than decent competition to his throne which he had held for record 235 weeks. Anointed the King of Clay, he had won 4 consecutive French Opens, beating Federer each time and never allowing him to come close to his title. On the other hand, he had managed to close the gap on Federer each year in other surfaces, improving tremendously and pushed him to a five-setter in the Wimbledon final last year, when his best performance previously was taking a set 0ff him in the grass court event final. His playing style is the total opposite of King Fed's: power in abundance compared to the graceful Fed's strokes, full running speed as opposed to Roger's seemingly effortless footwork, and a killer forehand stroke with heavy spin to match Fed's passing backhand rocket.

In the epic Wimbledon final this year, Roger faced a vastly improved Nadal again for the 5th consecutive time. This time, doggedness and determination prevailed over style and coolness, and Nadal finally snatched the Wimbledon crown from Federer for the first time. Since then, Federer had lost to lesser opponents in the lead up events to the next grand slam event, the US Open, suggesting that he had lost his aura of invicibility. To compound his misery, Nadal is slated to take over as the new world No. 1 after the Olympics, on the back of his excellent performances this year, regardless of how Federer performs in the US Open and Olympics.

It remains to be seen how Federer attempts to bounce back from his mental block and regain his composure in his quest to become the greatest tennis player again. His skills and techniques are unquestionably the best in the circuit, but mentally he is not as strong as Nadal currently, having failed to snatch French Open title and lost Wimbledon trophy to his strongest rival. There's one quote from the Three Kingdom's era that I found particularly apt for this setting,

"The vast kingdom, long divided, must unite, and long united, must divide"

King Fed has conquered almost all the battleground that he fought in, and now his 'kingdom' is under threat from a Spanish invasion. As the saying above goes, whether he can gather back the pieces of his kingdom, or whether it will be ruled by King Nadal, will be anyone's guess. To prove himself as the best of all time though, he will need to overcome the current crisis, and after all the hyped-up stories of rivalry, he will need to realise that Nadal is not his greatest rival; his mental block is.

A must-watch M'sian drama series!

2008-07-29T16:14:00.002+10:00

I've watched too many crappy malaysian chinese drama series (not the whole series obviously, as an episode of each was enough to turn me off from watching further) that I can probably claim to be a mini-critic.

Last week when I returned from baddie at around 11 pm, I was channel surfing and as there was nothing interesting showing on other channels, I settled on NTV7, a Malaysia TV channel. It was showing a drama series called Age of Glory, and I was so stunned by this quality production that I had thought of it to be a Hong Kong production initially as the actors spoke in cantonese in certain parts(to readers who didn't know, HK chinese dramas are considered to be the gold standard in the industry, as compared to those produced in Singapore, Malaysia, Taiwan or China). I discovered later that it was actually a multi-lingual drama, which certainly highlighted the local scene in KL. I actually found out it was a Malaysia production when the actresses started speaking in Malaysia-accented mandarin, which is unique as it sounds laidback and words are dragged towards end of the sentence, just as how people could tell Indos apart from their 'machine-gun' conversation speed.

The lead actress, Debbie Goh, was definitely the star of the show as she excelled in portraying the role of Rose, a kampong girl who was rebellious and aspired to be a dancer. She looked stunning from every angle and was virtually on every scene, so she had to be able to cope with the exposure..... and she did not dissappoint at all! Found out later on google that she was actually a former Miss Chinese Malaysia (1998) and had not had much success on an acting career, despite being signed to the Golden Harvest label, a giant movie production house. Based on this performance, she would have earned lots of credits and if nothing pans out for her at HK, she could always go back to M'sia for a TV acting career, or even Singapore for that matter. Singapore audience must be bored as whenever there's a cross-production between Mediacorp and M'sia, they have only used 3 M'sian actresses before in those drama series, and NEVER anyone else. If they do cast Debbie in those productions, I'm sure many eyeballs will stay peeled to the TV sets when the series are aired in Singapore, coz that's how good she is, not to mention her looks!

Thanks to NTV7, which has graciously put up all its shows for internet streaming on its website, viewers overseas can also watch this wonderful production. Show's mainly in mandarin with Malay subtitles, so u've gotta at least understand one of those two to be able to understand it. Here's the link!

Please do go watch Age of Glory! (It's free anyway, so you don't have anything to lose except for your time!)

KL trip

2008-07-25T02:55:00.002+10:00

So, as was 'reported' in my previous post, I made the trip to KL last sunday. It was the third visit to KL in less than 6 months, all for different reasons. On previous occassions, I always flew there using budget airlines (which are so not budget anymore these days, with all the crazy taxes and airport surcharges). Tried to use different airlines each time, and so far I've been on Airasia (the best in my opinion, with hot-as-pancakes stewardesses to boot too!), Tiger Airways (Not too shabby, it's always on less than 30% capacity whenever I fly from KL to Singapore, so I can get the much needed leg space!), and Jetstar (WARNING: DON'T EVER USE THIS COZ THE LEG SPACE IS REALLY NON-EXISTENT! I barely survived the flight even though it was only around 40 mins!).

Decided to try a bus trip this time, in the spirit of adventure. I thought I had to be well-prepared, with my PSP and Ipod charged to the maximum as the whole bus trip was gonna take 6 hours. With all preparation made (ok I'm an easily entertained person I've gotta say, coz I can just stare out of a window and keep myself occupied for hours just looking at the scenery sometimes...), I made the booking for an Executive VIP seat on Grassland (one of the many bus companies taking you to anywhere in Malaysia from Singapore). It claimed in its ads that all its buses had reclining seats and also TV entertainment, & I found out only the former was true. Well there was TV all right, but it was showing only old movies that I believe very few people would be interested in watching, and the audio entertainment was just crappy. Didn't touch it for the whole trip after exploring it for the first 5 mins, and luckily my Ipod was enough to keep me entertained throughout. Having said that, the reclining seat was very comfy, and definitely worth the price that I paid for (SGD 48 for a 1-way trip to KL), as opposed to the tiny leg space that passengers are usually afforded in budget flights. Nevertheless, I still think that paying a hundred bucks more to save time, despite the discomfort during travel, is still worth it, so from now on I'll stick to budget flights instead of buses!

On my arrival at Berjaya Times Square, had my dinner at KFC (I know, it's such a dud thing to do, but I had no clue where to go for mamak stalls at that time!), and then proceeded to the hotel at Kepong as it was already 10 pm by that time. The next morning, my partner's friend picked us up as he was heading to Port Klang as well, & we woke up at 6.30 am coz my partner's phone was set to indo time (which is 1 hour slower than KL time)! Haven't done that in a long time, though back in the sec school days we used to wake up at 5.30 am to get to school. I guess sleep endurance is never gonna be like before again, when 4 hours of sleep a day seem to suffice.

KL is one bloody big place (I know of many people who would argue with me over this, especially Derrick). Yes I'm referring to KL and the surrounding areas ie. PJ, Cheras, Kajang, etc etc, & also including Klang, which is around 1.5 hr away. I got sick of travelling up & down from Kepong to Kl, which took around 2.5 hours all up, and the worst thing was that on the first day, when the shipment was supposed to arrive, all sorts of problems occurred, and the ship captain was detained by the navy coz there was apparently some irregularity with the ship registration, and the navy dudes asked for RM 300 'passage fee'. Capt refused to pay up on the spot, so he was detained along with the ship, and did not even call to inform us. It was already 4 pm by that time, and when we found out it was already close to 5 pm, when the navy office was already closed. So despite waiting at the port for the whole day, we didn't even get to see the stock!

Settled the problem on the 2nd day, and again we had to make the arduous 2.5 hrs trip to Port Klang again. This time the containers weren't delivered on time, so even though the stock was already at the dock, we couldn't move it onto the containers to ship it out. Luckily the dock master had already loaded similar goods before, so after leaving our instruction with him, we could blissfully head back, and that's the end of the worktime at KL!

What amused me during the trip were some interesting happenings. When we were on the way back from Port Klang to our hotel, we saw a truck hitting a sedan on the next lane, and the enraged sedan driver pulled out a parang (if you're not indo or m'sian, it means a huge knife) and challenged the truck driver to come out, presumably to settle some scores. Our driver immediately told us to lock all doors! I had wanted to snap a picture of that chinese dude holding the parang, but I was afraid that he might charge to our car and deliver a chop or two if he noticed me haha.

The next day when we were driving back to hotel after dinner, we saw a heavily drunk chinese man (again!) driving a mini-van sped past us, and he vomited beside the traffic light! He still continued driving though, and couldn't even keep his car straight and was just going everywhere, so we steered clear and went for a durian feast instead. Everything at KL costs half of what they're sold at Singapore, including this spiky-shelled fruit! I'm not really a big fan, but I've heard that there's a huge harvest this year, and it's going cheap, so I'm just gonna join in the fun! D24 was sold for 10 ringgit on a roadside stall (it costs SGD 15 at sg, so it's 1/3 of the price!), and it tasted amazing! I realized I must have had all the cheap durians in the past, coz I never thought it was that good before! Was wondering whether to bring it back to sg, but decided against it as it's never gonna make it through the customs (with all the gwai lohs on the flight, they're gonna make some serious noises if they could smell durian on board!).

Also visited a local pub near KL (the lady boss mentioned there were colleges nearby, but I had no idea which place we were at), where I was constantly hit-on by this malaysian beer girl. Kept on asking me questions, and though I kept on ignoring her coz I didn't find her interesting, she didn't give up throughout, & kept on clinging on to me, to a point when my partner's friend (who brought us there) had to intervene and told her to leave me alone haha. Still she didn't give up, and pressed herself against me and even tried to sit on my lap! At this stage I was quite irritated by what she was doing, so I got up and pretended to make a call outside. I thought by this I had sent her a pretty clear massage, but to my surprise she followed me outside and even passed me her phone number and email address on a piece of paper! I had to tell her I was only coming for a drink and had to return to Singapore the next day before she finally left me alone. This is pretty funny coz I remember getting hit on by some random girls on the rare occassions that I go to a pub (usually I wouldn't frequent pubs unless they serve food as well, like those Irish pubs in melbourne), with the previous time happening in Penang (which unsurprisingly was the last time I went into a full-drinking pub) when I had a drink with a good friend, and a single lady just came over and sit next to me when my friend was in the toilet. We chatted for a while and she gave me her phone number and left before my friend came back.

The most vivid memory of another happening like this was during melb summer 2006, when a few of us (Kel, Derr, Cindy & me) went to an Irish pub that was fully packed (I think Kel's friend was performing that night and we went along to support him). We were dancing away (ok that's a lie, the 3 of them were dancing & I was moving unnaturally like an un-co cuttlefish) & I had my back facing a gwai loh (I think later on we all agreed she was quite good looking, although she was big sized). Before I knew it, she started caressing my hair, and when I didn't make any reaction, she moved on to grab my bu** a few times, in full view of her party, and also Kel haha. All in the name of good fun though, and I think in the end we toasted her before leaving. Ahhh, one of the many memorable summer outings!

Ok I think I digressed too much from the topic. Apart from the interesting happenings above, also got to meet up with Derr's mom (Derr was supposed to be back but he lost his passport again in China, and I don't know why (that's another big fat lie!) I'm not entirely surprised). She treated me to a superb lunch at this jap restaurant at a mall called One Utama (at least I think that's what it's called), and there were creative sushi names like atomic bomb, lion king, etc etc (which like the adventurous names that came with it, tasted excellent!). Ok I think the name is sushi groove, coz I remember on the menu there were items that came with groovy sign, which meant it was the signature dish. After lunch, we went to pick Derr's twin sisters from school, and then went to his place, before sending the kids to tuition (whatever is happening to a carefree/memorable childhood). Before even realising it, it was time for my flight, and Derr's mom drove me to LCCT, where I waited for an hour before boarding the Tiger flight back to sg, and that concluded my action-packed 3-day KL trip this time!

There was still time for an interesting event after I landed at sg. Brazil Olympic soccer team landed in sg for training at exactly the same time as my flight, but I missed them completely as they landed in terminal 1 (where a 600-strong fan group gathered and must have caused a hoo-hah!) and I was in terminal 2. Only read about it in the newspaper the next day. Dang what a big big pity!!

A little blast from the past...

2008-07-17T01:45:00.002+10:00

A 'small piece' of melb visited me 2 days ago. I've got to say I wasn't really thrilled abt it though. Let's just say it could have happened at a better time!

Anws, will be heading to KL in 2 days time for a biz trip. Notice there wasn't any exclamation mark, coz I'm not exactly excited about it coz I'll be on the bus for over 8 hours in total to get to the port. I guess I'm pretty lazy when it comes down to biz trips, coz I don't really get much fun out of it, though I know the experience is important. Gotta get myself more motivated for this!!

Will be applying for visa to USA next week. Woohoo! can't wait to finally get on that plane and get there, coz it's gonna be a life-changing event for me! It's not exactly a regular holiday this time, though I'll be heading to a few places (hopefully!) over 3 weeks. Estimate it's gonna take me slightly more than SGD 30k for this trip alone, so gonna have to save up again for the next big European hols I'm planning for next year!

Anybody interested to join me next year for the Great European Expedition? =)

Debate topic - Do ladies lack willpower in relationship?

2008-06-22T17:50:00.006+10:00

Ok this is just to satisfy my own curiosity since I've personally seen/heard too many cases on how women tend to be (very) reluctant to leave their boyfriends, however badly they're treated, once they're together.

I guess someone who would readily agree with me will be Derrick, since he has seen first hand too that many attractive girls in Trinity College were attached to j*rk boyfriends, and we even heard stories on how they were abused (read: beaten up). Our intake was a small community, so each of us were connected to at least one person of the sub-groups within the intake, and the flow of gossips was like small streams feeding continuously into the main river. I remember the many occassions that we discussed how we would do SO much better than their boyfriends (yes, that's how guys form bonds initially in case you ladies didn't know!), but obviously we had no chance coz those girls were just sticking by their men despite whatever nasty things they were subjected to.

From the cases that I've heard of or even inquired further into (when my female friends are involved), evidence points to the fact that women is indeed the weaker/more vulnerable party in a relationship. I believe guys will have no doubt in getting out of the situation if their girlfriends are overbearing and abuse them (which in this case leans more towards emotionally rather than physically), but women show remarkable resilience in enduring abuse (also covers emotional aspect as well) when the option of leaving is wide open.

Well these are just my own views. Ladies, if you have any opinions, both in dis/agreements, please feel free to leave your comments. Would really love to hear your views on this as it'd serve as a good reference point for me and the other male readers!

It's all relative..

2008-06-10T01:04:00.002+10:00

one of the most revolutionary, if not the most, idea in science is the theory of relativity proposed by Einstein. Its application is wide-ranging, from the making of nuclear bombs (remember the formula E=MC^2?) to remote, even absurd idea (even more so in Einstein's era) of how universe is made up of galaxies in a curved roundish platform, and you will end up in the same spot if you travel one way on a high-speed train (think 10 times speed of light or you may never make the whole journey alive!) across the universe. Not surprisingly, like many of the enlightening ideas that could not be proved during his time, scientists have already proven many of the wide ranging application of the relativity theory, including the FACT that universe is indeed like how Einstein had envisioned it to be.

Ok I've wanted to relate a science theory to life, but it seems like I've forgotten the main topic of this post while I was writing up the paragraph above =)- I was inspired by another story I read which creatively linked the idea of the law of preservation of energy in physics to how you can consciously choose to channel your anger and move forward sooner. Gotta admit my creativity doesn't serve me well today so I'm gonna leave it till another day!

P.S. Channel 5 is showing season 3 of so u think u can dance! Just caught 1st ep today and can't wait to watch it each week!

2008-06-03T03:37:00.002+10:00

Quote of the Day:

'You can't be somebody to everybody,
or you'll end up being a nobody'

Fear of change

2008-05-22T17:40:00.002+10:00

You know the times when you would deliberate for weeks, sometimes months to make a decision that you had perceived to be unthinkable/revolutionary, and then when you finally decide to do it and it's done, you are thinking 'what's the big deal?'

Just had the experience described above. Had this 'huge stone' lifted off my shoulder today, and I had made the right decision after all!

Nostalgia

2008-04-26T20:09:00.005+10:00

Old pictures are like surprise gifts - you wouldn't know what to expect (in terms of emotion) until you see them. There are so many factors influencing how you would feel - place, environment (if you are still with the old bunch of people in the picture), current personal situation, etc, that each time you look at them you would get different reactions.

This time, looking back at the pictures of the uni days, I definitely felt like I hadn't moved as far as I had wanted to go, both in terms of leaving back the memories, and also finding new grounds at the new place. For a lot of people with rich memories, ie. those that amazingly have different groups of close friends and mix equally well with all, they might not remember a particular time when they had an amazing time. For me, there is just a single stretch of time that I had the fondest memories of, and each time when I want to encourage myself when I'm feeling down, unsurprisingly my brain will bring out the pictures of those days again.

I told a friend earlier that I hadn't wanted to go back as I don't want to destroy those beautiful memories in my mind. It is evident that those people that I relate my best times with have all but moved on with their lives, forming new friendships and finding new affiliations that they relate to.

It feels like I'm back to square one compared to what I had set out to achieve initially; I had a few really close friends (or at least I thought so) back in secondary school and we always hung out together. After O levels, each one of us left for different places to further our studies, and I was sure that our bonds would not be weakened even though we'd be continents apart. I wrote emails to these people trying to find out how they were, and each time I'm left dissappointed as days passed by and no reply came in. Felt especially hurt as those people disregarded our friendship, and later on when I found out that they had no contacts with each other as well, it just saddened me further.

I realised not many people are like me, finding it hard to move on when you've had some wonderful time with certain people in your life. To be away from their lives, when we were virtually together 24 hrs a day for a period of time, just felt weird. It feels like you're losing control of something that you've had & treasured for a long time, slowly evaporating away into thin air.

I classify this symptom as 'circumstancial acquaintance', ie. people get together in a certain setting, and once they're out of that they want nothing to do with each other anymore. It doesn't happen to all the people of course, but sadly I've been at the receiving end (aka victim) of this for way too many times to be able to stay positive on this issue. Further, the real dilemma lies in whether you are ready to meet these people in the future, because the memories that are with you no longer exist in their mind, and there is no common background anymore....

I also told myself to forget about her, as she's totally out of my life now and there's little chance we could ever be together. This time when I looked at her pictures again, her smile reminded me of why I fell in love with her in the first place, and I realised I haven't gotten over her after all this time, not yet anyway...

Along the way I've met new nice gals, whom I know will be interested to go out with me if I had asked, but I had always refrained myself in the end and didn't take it further than just being normal friends. This situation reminds me of an episode of Friends season 2, when Ross was making a list comparing her then girlfriend with Rachel. He pointed out Rachel's bad points, and then when it came to the other gal, he couldn't come up with anything and only said 'because she's not Rachel' .... I relate to this not because the person I liked had any flaws, far from it, as she's perfect in my eyes. All the other gals that I've met recently are attractive young ladies as well, but as Ross puts it, they're not '*******'

Totally random last part. It just popped up in my mind as it was related to the topic, so I thought I'd better put it down before I forget everything again when I wake up tomorrow. All right time to get some shut eye or I'll be late for work tmr!

2008-04-25T22:36:00.003+10:00

'All it took was a glance at the old pictures,

to fall back in love again'

Tribute to FRIENDS

2008-04-16T20:29:00.004+10:00

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

Started watching old episodes of Friends from season 2 & 3 last week, & it was definitely well worth the time. My cousin received the complete set of Friends episodes as her b'day present and she left it at singapore when she returned to US for her undergrad course. It has been lying on top of the TV set for a while and nobody was even close to pickin' it up, until I did it last week.

The first time when I watched an episode of Friends was probably while I was still a primary school kid at indo. Couldn't have possibly understood much english back then, so I must have been attracted to it because of Rachel Green, aka. Jennifer Aniston (yes, I'm a fan!). After I moved to Singapore later, it became a regular routine to catch it on the english tv channel, partly to test my english level since I still wasn't very comfortable with using it back then. Since then, I had been religiously following the storyline, & it wasn't exactly that difficult as it is shown in so many channels, even at indo too!

The first time when I really appreciated the performance of the cast members would have to be when I was at Oz, during the start of the 8th season. It was roughly the time when Rachel had the baby and the plot started to tweak to cater to that development. Although I had watched many episodes of the previous seasons then, I had little recollection of the events as different tv stations were showing episodes from different seasons, so it was all pretty much jumbled up. (That aside, I think part of the appeal is because you wouldn't have to know about the previous episodes to understand the story. Yes the eps are linked, but yet it is still possible to follow the jokes/story without actually watching the previous ones).

Coming back to the 8th season, by the time I watched it on Oz tv (I think it was on channel 9...), I realised their performances have really matured by a huge leap (you would really see this if you watched season 1), and I was entirely absorbed by the intensity of their performance. It was like they weren't on-screen personas anymore, but rather a part of my life. You could totally relate to what they were going through because you grew up with all of them, and you thought how great it would be to have pals like them.

When the show came to an end at Season 10, I remember telling Derr how there won't be a comedy sitcom that would ever match up to Friends again, and how Monday nights (when channel 9 used to show Friends eps) would officially suck and I wouldn't know what to do with it. It did get boring/empty for a while, and channel 9 played the sequel Joey (spin-off from Friends), which wasn't half as good as the real deal. The magic lies in the interplay between all the equal standing between the characters in the show, and when that was taken away, the sparkle diminished and it was something that can never be replaced.

Although what I predicted at that time didn't exactly come true, ie. life still went on without Friends, I would definitely have preferred to have it continue on. Many pretenders/contenders to the top comedy sitcom such as Everybody loves Raymond (which I rate 2nd only to Friends), 2 and a half men, to the not-so typical Desperate housewife came and went to fight for the crown, but in my opinion none of it came close to matching Friends' cult status.

While Friends has stopped running for a while now and the whole comedy sitcom genre has not exactly collapsed now (in fact it is running at full steam now as I have noticed an increase in the number of those sitcoms produced), it does mean that the genre does not have a clear winner and the market is fragmented. It will be hard to come up with that as Friends is only one winning bet in the thousands of shows produced by NBC, and therefore the odds of discovering another gem like that are pretty small.

Re-watching those old eps really brought back the nostalgic feeling each time, something that's probably on equal footing with my memories on when my first house at Indo was burnt down (ironically I always think of how Phoebe will say this out with her nonchalant yeah-that-was-just-some-normal-stuff-I-experienced tone whenever I think of my own childhood days) & how my whole 'mini-library' of more than a thousand comic books were burned down along with it.

Oh yeah I always thought Phoebe & Chandler were the 2 best comedians in the show, & they had been consistent throughout the 10 seasons, keeping this honour even during the 1st season when the jokes were really, really bad (by Friends standard, anyway). Chandler was always great with the punchlines, and Phoebe with her many anecdotes of her (crazy yet exciting) pre-Friends life. Joey has got to be the most improved as I thought he was great from Season 4 onwards. The rest of the cast (Rachel, Ross, & Monica) provided the bulk of the entertainment with their intertwining accounts as they were already acquainted way before the rest of the cast came to know each other.

(Just a side thought. One thing I've learnt from all the great comedians is that they're willing to make themselves the butt of their own jokes, which is what I believe draws them to the audience faster, whether they're stand-up comedians or actors in sitcoms. David Letterman is a great example of this theory & I really love his show!)

Thank you for bringing so much entertainment to my life, and even though the show has ended, the spirit of each of you will live on...

P.S. if you liked Friends as well, please leave your comment!

Dwarfed

2008-04-15T16:43:00.004+10:00

Lately when I turned the pages of the local newspaper or just casually browsing through news websites, 1 topic always sticks out: the sharp increase in the price of important commodities such as rice, oil, etc. There are protests everywhere against the local government in almost every continent (save for Oceania & Europe perhaps), ranging from Egypt in Africa, Argentina in Latin America (albeit for a different reason as farmers protested on the increase of export taxes for commodities as government try to cash in on the commodity boom at the expense of poor farmers). Indonesia, Phillipines, and Cambodia represents Asia in this category, with the government cutting subsidies on oil and rice as it takes much bigger burden than predicted on the state allocated budget due to the spiralling cost.

According to IMF data, the current situation is not even that much of a shock outcome as it is reported nowadays. Indeed, the amount of food production has been at its lowest level for years, considering the world population that has kept on rising over past few decades. Arable land has been diversified into planting for bio-diesel crops, which is the current hot growth topic as energy sources are dwindling and there is an urgent need to find a renewable source. Also, bio-diesel crops typically fetch higher price than food crops, as can be seen from the 4-fold increase in price for corn produced in Mexico as it is increasingly used in the production of ethanol. Tapas, which has been a staple food for mexicans for decades, perhaps centuries, is no longer the cheap local food that is affordable to everyone.

With the local staples of many countries under threat, it is hard enough for the authorities to keep inflation under control, let alone handle the daily mass demonstration. Rice is consumed by around half the world population (estimated at 3 billion people), and its price has increased by almost 3 fold compared to just 2 years ago. With many of its consumers belonging to the low-income end of the population, it is no wonder that these people are protesting for an increase in the basic wages to help make ends meet.

Routine demonstrations organised by students and factory workers lined up the streets of Vietnam capital Ho Chi Minh and also Indonesia capital Jakarta. Already struggling with their livelihood in the past, the latest blow has further cut their real income by another 20%, & it is impossible for them to survive with further inflation set to cut deeper into their thin pockets.

Analysis from commodity expert points out that rice is harvested 3-4 times a year, and when the price is so high, farmers would plant much more in the next season, which will then alleviate the shortage in the coming 2-3 months. The use of higher quality seeds will also boost the total tonnage harvested and the current export ban imposed by the governments of Vietnam & Cambodia will be lifted again once the rice stock is in abundance, creating surplus in the international market. As such, the price will most likely return to its equilibrium level in the short term.

In the long term though, the production of rice will not keep pace relative to the increase in world population size, and as such there will be another crisis waiting to happen in the not so distant future. With the minimum wage at Vietnam at lower than USD 60/worker per month currently, it is hard to see how they would be able to survive the next commodity price jump. Many of its counterparts in the rest of Asia would be facing the same problem, and there is no shortcut method around it, other than to be agriculturally independent.

It is a tough world to survive in, and with all the major happenings around the world, my own problem seems to be too miniscule to be mentioned....

Blogging - Cure for Insomnia?

2008-04-14T19:51:00.003+10:00

Went to the family GP recently to get some medication. I realised I haven't been there for almost a year now (that's definitely a gd thing!), & the doctor almost didn't recognize me although I visited him almost every month in my last 2 years during sec sch days. Yeah I gotta confess I was quite a lazy student then, so everytime I couldn't wake up at 5.30 am to get to sch (as many SG school kids could testify), I've gotta make a trip to the doc and get a medical cert (aka MC).

Well this time the purpose of the visit was similar to the past, although the root of the problem is different. While it was more of lack of sleeping time during those days (would be sleeping like a log and before you even realized it, it was already 5.30 am!) , right now it lies with the fact that I can't get to sleep at all, aka insomnia. Have had this problem since the Uni days & seen a GP at Melb, who prescribed a really strong sleeping pill that left me with drowsiness for the next couple of days. I didn't really take it that often though and only used it during exam periods.

It has been a huge problem ever since I came back to SG, possibly because I'm under a lot more stress right now than during school days, due to a variety of reasons. My brain just kept replaying whatever I've read & seen and set its own motion on analysing those situations just before bedtime, and I must say it is really irritating. Usually when I get to sleep, it would be at around 3-4 am when I'm really physically exhausted, or my brain is tired from arguing with itself on the endless topics.

Family GP prescribed some light sleeping pills for me, and initially it worked fine for a couple of days. Within a week, my body has developed resistance to the pills and it's no longer working. Went back to the doc to ask for the same pill that the Oz GP gave to me, but he refused to prescribe it as he deemed it too much for a 23 year old to be taking such a high dosage. He gave me a stronger acting medication this time, and so far it has been working out fine. Took it for a day and until now I haven't had the need for a 2nd one.

These few days I've been researching on methods to cure insomnia, and tried a few of them. They didn't really have any effect on me, & I believe it's because of the different environment that we're in. Since mine occurs because the (crazily) independent brain of mine is obsessed with thinking through stuff when I'm supposed to be sleeping, I thought I'd give it a platform to air its view and see if it would be satisfied and let me have a good peaceful sleep each night after that.

This may sound like the silliest thing you've ever heard of, but I haven't got any other ideas at the moment, so I've gotta try it out while researching further into other methods. Have lined up many topics to review, & will be posting it up over the next few days. So for those who are keen on an argument with the restless (read: uncontrollable) nerve lump inside my head or are just looking for something to read during a boring day, drop by often & most likely you'll see something new everyday!

moving on...

2008-04-07T00:24:00.002+10:00

So it has been more than a month since my last post. 'It' hasn't been concluded yet, and although sometimes it has been moving frustatingly slow, we've now arrived at the junction where it could take a turn to anywhere. Sometimes 'we' feel that it is absolutely ridiculous that both parties have found almost childish reasons to delay the transaction, and can't help to feel that if it was up to us, it would have been concluded within 3 days. Having said that, we aren't the decision makers, so we are at the mercy of those 2 parties until everything is concluded.

Have had too many sleepless nights associated with this already, and whatever the result is, I'm ready to move forward and won't dwell on it anymore. Hopefully there will be better news in my next post =)

2008-03-05T03:41:00.002+11:00

Anxiety is at its peak now... Waiting for that single phone call from my best friend/business partner that could potentially change my life forever... Hopefully it comes through tomorrow morning, and I'll be flying off to Penang, KL, and Jakarta within the next 2 weeks to close what will become the most important deal of my life so far....

As one of my partners puts it (he's 50+), 'hendry, I think after this is completed, you would be able to retire in Australia comfortably before you turn 24, get a posh apartment where you can sip wine by the balcony, take the weekends off to the countryside (for more wine?), and just enjoy life!'

Ok I added the last part myself (after the posh apartment part *wink*), but I really wish this would become reality before I turn 24. This would be the greatest birthday gift ever! The gift of freedom and putting my pet projects to action! I can't even imagine how surreal it'll be for me when I really achieve this dream in the near future....

Now on to the works. Will be putting 100% commitment to this project for the next 2 weeks when I'm on the road, so the next few blog posts will be written from the hotel rooms in whichever city I'm in. If it really works out in the end, it will not be because of luck, but of the hard work we (my partners and I) have put in over the last few months. I'm not even contemplating the chance of it not working out at the moment as we have worked our guts out to make it happen, so it will be full focus from now on till the end as we couldn't let all our effort be foiled by 2 weeks of indecisiveness...

Watch this space!!

2008-02-25T00:17:00.002+11:00

So, putting words into action isn't as easy as merely saying it out....

Gonna be very, very busy for the next 2-3 weeks. Gonna be the biggest 3 weeks of my life, if I may put it out that way. There's gonna be lots of contradicting spins: sleepless nights yet energetic mornings, unpredictable yet planned events (I've got all probabilities worked out), busy yet enjoyable schedule.

I'll be doing the best I can, & I know it will work out this time!!

New resolution for year 2008

2008-02-13T04:15:00.000+11:00

Was chatting with my cousin this morning through MSN, and as usual we always had lots of stuff to talk about. Our conversation led to the topic of tragic happenings that seemed to happen to other people around us. There are so many examples of those around us, since both of us studied at Singapore for many years and some of our schoolmates that we knew personally had experienced those sad but inevitable tragedies.

She was telling me how she had a JC schoolmate who had a mom suffering from cancer while she was preparing for 'O' level, and yet she has never let it clouded her ambition and still managed to ace it despite all the obstacles and having to take care of her family at the same time. Her mom was actually the mistress of a man who did not care much about their family, so she basically had to fend for herself and take care of a disobedient younger brother. She has finished her JC years and is currently pursuing her dream of becoming a ballet dancer at a renowned arts institution at Singapore.

The most amazing thing of all is that she has always remained positive and retained her bubbly personality, when many people would have collapsed under such condition. I was telling my cousin how fortunate we are to have no such misfortunes fall on us before, not even to our distant relatives whom we meet occassionally.

Sometimes we still complain/whine about how we are not able to achieve certain dreams that we have set in the past, & for the luxuries that we can't have even after putting in so much effort. When my cousin told me her friend's story earlier, the following thought sprang up suddenly in my mind:

'So many unfortunate people are not able to pursue their own dreams because of the sudden change in their lives. They are no less ambitious than any of us, & I'm sure each of them has lofty dreams beyond what we can comprehend, but their respective situations require them to face the reality, at least for the immediate future. Hence, the ability to pursue your own dream is/must be already a privilege in itself'

It's weird I know, getting enlightened by your own thoughts. After this episode, I've realised that I've wasted 2 years of my time (since I came back to Singapore) by doing nothing other than focusing on my business stuff. I have not done anything productive that has brought joy to myself and other people, and that I deem as a huge failure.

I promise that from now on, I will be living my life to the maximum and cherish every moment that I spend on realising my own dreams, as it is not the end result that matters, but the journey itself. I will also always remember that I'm one of the more blessed people in this world, and I have the duty to help those who are less fortunate.

Now that I've set my mind on it, I'll have to undergo a makeover to revitalise myself both mentally and physically. For the regular readers of this blog and also to random surfers, my wish is that if you are already living your dreams, be proud of it, but also remember that you are one of the more privileged people to have done that, and you should be helping other people along. If you are still in delirium over what you are doing and struggling to find the motivation, just look within yourself and see what it is that makes your heart ticks...

The passing of an icon

2008-01-28T16:57:00.001+11:00

----------------------- WARNING ---> LENGTHY POST AHEAD!!! <-------------------

Haven't felt the urge to blog till today. I'm back at Indonesia for 2 days because my Hong Kong customer was planning to visit this morning, but he cancelled the plan instead as he needed to stay at Singapore to meet his other supplier there and had arranged to come to Indonesia another time. Well, it's not really that important anyway as I've already discussed the details with him in Singapore, & he only wanted to see our facilities just to reassure himself that we're a proper legitimate business.

I guess many of the people overseas will have the same perception on Indonesian businesses, that they are shams/scams designed to rip off/squeeze out the last cents of unknowing/innocent companies that are trying to get hold of all the commodities the once rich, resourceful Indonesia has to offer. Sadly, it is true that there are many rogue traders like this at Indonesia, ie. they either don't send the goods after they receive the money from buyers, or that they send inferior stock to cut cost. It scares off many prospective buyers, but for those who really knows the local culture/working, they're in for a rich ride as many of the commodities/goods are seriously DIRT CHEAP over here!

Getting back to the original point of this post. Mr Suharto, who was the 2nd president of Indonesia and one that served in the post for the longest time (32 years), had passed away yesterday at 1 PM local time. He has been in/out of the critical condition for the past week and finally collapsed after suffering a multiple organ failure in the hospital. From then on, it has been non-stop reporting with live feeds on all the Indonesian TV channels, and also some of the regional ones as well such as Channel Newsasia (Singapore). He was buried today at 12 pm local time at his family's mausoleum at the city of Solo.

This post serves as a tribute to him, the man who single-handedly rescued/built up Indonesia from the brink of a communist rule in 1965 with a military coup (some historians have debated this fact, saying that the communist party's killing of the top generals was a fake ploy in an attempt to mask Suharto's own purge of those 1st president's (sukarno's) loyalists). Of course, this point is not important anymore as he has proven to be an adept politician during his rule, although some critics have pointed out that he held the military power tightly and 'silenced' anyone who disobeyed. Also, his rule was tainted by many allegations of corruption that was pervasive in the central government, with many of his family members granted favours of astronomical size (eg. toll roads at Jakarta were built by his children and banks had to grant them loans at no interest rate). I guess this is always bound to happen when someone holds extreme power in a country, especially in one as large/un(der)developed as indonesia, and these are the trade-off for having a largely peaceful country.

I think what ex-singapore PM (and now serving as minister mentor) Lee Kuan Yew has said pretty much illustrated this point. He was visiting his ‘old friend’ Suharto when he was hospitalized when he gave the following statement: ‘I think Indonesians owe a lot to Suharto. Sure, he might have done something wrong (corruption), but look at the growth rate during his reign and compare it with Myanmar/Laos, where military coup happened as well at about the same time’. This is exactly how I feel about him as well, & I think most of the Indonesian Chinese community will agree with me on this. In all honesty, the 32 years that Suharto was in power was probably the golden age for the Indonesian business community as he was pro-active in encouraging the expansion of those businesses. He gave favours to a select few, but what needs to be remembered was that he didn’t make it difficult for the majority of all the others as well. The business field boomed and there was prosperity, setting the rise of the many wealthy Chinese Indonesians that are now the largest owners of the many private residential properties in neighbouring Singapore.

One reason that happened was because he didn’t see the Chinese Indonesians as a threat, but rather as assets that Indonesia should fully utilize. With links to the other Chinese immigrants in the region, as well as China itself, these are the people that have access to world’s largest ethnic population, & the potential is unlimited. With the wealth funneling into the select few, then the other business people in general, the mass population also benefited as they are employed in a booming economy. Basically everyone that wanted a job had one. In fact, he even went as far as befriending wealthy Chinese, giving them preferential treatment for many government projects such as the owner of Indofood, which is probably most well-known as the producer of Indomie , the largest (tastiest too!) instant noodle producer in the world.

In the years after he left Indonesia’s political scene, there were rumours that he was still the one controlling the government from behind the scene as his political party still held power at that time. Successive presidential candidates promised a lot during their respective campaigns, but in a scenario that is too familiar worldwide, those promises meant for little when they’re thrusted into power. Businesses for the middle class kept on dwindling, with corruption rampant at every level instead of just in the central government, despite the promises on clamping down on those officials when presidents/lawmakers were elected.

For the country to return to an iron fist rule during Suharto’s era, it would be a step back in democracy, but one that prospers. Strangely it is eerily similar to the policy of another wealthy Southeast Asia country, with the government having a tight hold of the political situation/not allowing much resistance. To conclude this, an iron fist rule is not all that bad if the government is wise, just, and cares for its citizens.

Despite all the wrongs that Suharto has committed, he has done a lot for Indonesia and should be commended. With his passing, tears are shed, flower wraths are made, flags are raised, a nation mourns, and all sins are forgiven. As one news presenter aptly pointed out, Suharto is almost like the anointed king of the modern republic of Indonesia, a larger than life icon and the greatest presence that Indonesians have ever felt, & quite possibly there won’t be another one like him.

X'mas surprise!

2007-12-30T04:01:00.000+11:00

Cuzs were back from USA, so we celebrated christmas this year in kind of a low key way with a steamboat buffet at Suntec on X'mas eve. We had an early day and were completely burnt out at dinner time, so the dinner itself was kind of quiet and certainly devoid of the x'masy mood that was floating around. Had planned to go to Clarke Quay for a drink after the dinner & wait for the countdown, but one of my cousins had to go back to Indonesia the next morning, so we went back home at 10 and sat around chatting in the living room. T was seated facing the door and he spotted something unusual. We went to look closer:

It was a REAL golden-coloured rabbit at our neighbour's doorstep! We couldn't believe our eyes! It was a total surprise as we've never seen something like this in the 1 decade (yes it has been that long!) that we've stayed in this apartment. We decided to take a closer look and it was made harder as it kept on running away whenever we were 2 steps away. It looked kind of hungry, so I went to the fridge and looked for carrot sticks and thrown it close to him, only to see it run up the stairs!

We went after it and saw it go into a metal enclosure outside one of the apartments upstairs. We threw more carrot pieces inside and this time it ate it! Think it was bcoz it didn't feel threatened by us anymore as it was quite a fair distance away from us this time.

After a while, we were looking around to see if its owner would come up to look for a missing pet, because there's simply no way it could be a wild rabbit out of nowhere in a private apartment. We thought it would be irresponsible to just leave it there, so we decided to 'adopt' it for a night and then look for its owner the next day.

Made a makeshift cage from cardboard in 10 minutes and we were ready to bring it back into our home! At exactly 11.45 pm, we finally managed to capture it, courtesy of more carrot and a broomstick to lead it closer to the gate, where my cousin's hand were lying in ambush waiting to strike!

Since we were gonna keep it for at least a night, we thought it would be good to come up with a name. After brainstorming for a little less than 2 minutes, it was almost like a 'Eureka!' moment when a few of us shouted out 'Santaro!' together! Can't believe how all of us came up with the same name at almost the same moment =) It's a name twist from a japanese anime about a rabbit called Sentaro that was quite popular at Indonesia, and since it was christmas eve, what better name to give other than this =) So there you are! The latest addition to our christmas eve night that made our night so much livelier!

Santaro in the makeshift cage

More pictures of Santaro at our doorstep before we began our chase:

Looking through the shoe rack

Caught in action (CIA) 1: Thieving around neighbour's potted plant for food

CIA 2: munching on the leaves (look at the barren pot beside! It housed a fully grown plant before Santaro came along and pulled it out to the last root!)

The next day though, Santaro was getting stressed up for getting cooped in the cage for too long, so much so that the 4 corners of the cardboard cage were filled with claw marks, although we left it with plenty of food and water inside. I did some research on the Net and found that rabbits always need plenty of moving space, & since we couldn't let it run about in the apartment, we reluctantly released it and immediately it became much more active again! We followed it for a while & it went around eating leaves in the potted plants again, until it was chased out by the management when some residents alerted them.

2 days later, T discovered another rabbit outside our door again at around the same time when we saw Santaro:

This time it's a fluffy white rabbit! It looked gorgeous but we told ourselves to resist the temptation of bringing it into our house this time to prevent it getting stressed out like Santaro. I couldn't help but to go out and pat it a few times & left it with some food. It had bruises on its back & I suspect its owner must have been a very careless person, or that it didn't want those rabbits as pets anymore & released it randomly in the block. It's a really irresponsible behaviour as these pets are defenceless since it has grown up in a protected environment, and they will be put to sleep, a permanent one that is, if they are handed over to the authorities.

Let's hope that Santaro and his friend will find a responsible owner. I will make that my X'mas wish this year, simply because I can't take them in as the apartment I'm staying at doesn't belong to me =(

A belated merry X'mas & Happy New Year everyone, and wishing all of you a blessed 2008!

Feelin' fulfilled (Part I)

2007-12-14T00:49:00.000+11:00

Past fortnight has been amazing for me! A series of really motivating events has really helped me to fight back the depressing mood I've been having for the larger part of this year. Makes me actually feel proud of what I'm doing and also see the silver lining on every single cloud!

I shall start with the first event. It was a regular saturday night (after a long afternoon teleconference session with Kel, Am, Joon, Vinh earlier!) and I hit the badminton courts in Serangoon as usual. Unlike usual days, we had a singapore national squad player joining us that day and I took to the court against him with my usual partner. We didn't do too badly (final score: 21-15) as he was really off-form in the 1st game. After seeing my performance against him earlier, he invited me to partner him when he was asked to play against the 2 veteran players (I wouldn't call them the strongest, but certainly the most stable pair in the group). Those 2 are really arrogant players and many of the members don't like them, although we can't do anything as they were the original members in the group. Anyway, we got down to business and absolutely thrashed them (final score:21-5!)in the first game. They refused to concede defeat and asked for a return match, and this time the score was even worse: 21-3! Totally controlled the match and didn't leave them any chance to retaliate. Has been a while since I can really trust my partner to cover for me when I'm making my foray forward to the net area, where I'm strongest at (at least I think so =), and I could stay fully focused in winning net battles against the opponent.

The following session, he was again at the club and asked me to partner him against the strongest pair in the club: 2 ex-national squad players! I was really excited & pumped up as I know we have a chance against those 2 players that I've never beaten before. Just before we started the game, one of the arrogant players mentioned earlier asked me to let someone else stronger play in my place instead (let's just call this person K). I do admit that K is a better player than me as he is an all-rounder, but I was really dissappointed that I didn't get to play, & K apologized to me for having taken my place later. My partner was flabbergasted that they actually did that to me when I was already on the court, but couldn't do anything with it. They lost the match 21-16 in the end.

Those 2 ex-national players asked my partner for a rematch later, having been impressed with his skills in the first. I was sitting quietly at the side then when I heard him say loudly: 'sure, but I'll only play if I get to partner Hendry in the next game'. They couldn't say no to that and agreed. All this while I was just too shocked to react when I heard him saying that, until he approached me later when the match was about to start, saying 'let's go. They say we've gotta pay 10 bucks if they beat us under 10!'. Has been a long time since somebody really believed in my ability that much when he obviously had the choice of stronger partners than me at his disposal. After warming up, the game started. We were leading by a big margin at the beginning, leading 10-3 as our opponent couldn't cope with our attack speed & fast drives. We were in control till then, before they changed tactics to play a slower game and mistakes started cropping up as we were both fast-play players who thrive on quick plays. Lost the game 21-16 in the end, but we were far from losing 'under 10' that we were predicted to do at the start. With a bit more experience and patience, we could have won the game, but it wasn't meant to be. It was fun though, and although I was huffing & puffing at the end, it was all worth it as I really played my heart out in that game. It has been a while since I faced an opponent of that standard (the last being Raymond/Jim in the Melb Uni Open) and played close to my maximum potential.

Nothing better than having the trust of a teammate that totally believes in your ability and counts on you to deliver in a doubles game. That's why it's always doubles over singles game for me anytime!

Will continue on my other story in the next post =)

2007-12-06T02:13:00.001+11:00

WHEN IS THE NEXT TIME I'M GONNA PLAY LATE NIGHT/OVERNIGHT RISK???

IF ONLY...

2007-12-05T03:47:00.000+11:00

FATE... Or the lack of it.

I just found out that I could have gotten to know the two of them had I decided to join a friend who has repeatedly invited me to those events... These 2 people amazed me so much with their worldly view and their colourful, vibrant life that I always feel so entertained, enlightened, & cheered up after reading their blogs. Now that I know I HAD the option/chance to actually know them personally, a flurry of mixed feelings hit me hard: dissappointment & regret being the top 2.

If only I have followed him just once, I'd have seen the world that was so different from mine, and become a better person by learning from that experience. If only I have known the two of you personally, I would have had 2 extra friends that I really respect and also cherish for the rest of my life. If only I could reverse back the time, I would not hesitate even for a second anymore to follow the path both of you are leading...

IF ONLY...

Nonsensical Rambling

2007-12-01T03:26:00.000+11:00

First day of the month, & I'm back to my old routine: getting insomnia, as I so often had in the past. It hasn't happened for the last 2 weeks when I was back @ indo, becoming a live-in security guard for my bro's new house while he was away on his honeymoon to Taiwan & Korea.

No internet @ home, so I'd normally sleep early after watching late night chinese drama serial on TV. Ok I think that sounds weird. How can I possibly be tucking in early when I'm watching late night drama u ask? Well, it's shown at 12 am and ends at 1, and for me anything earlier than 2 am is considered early. Basically I'm down to the most basic stuff when I'm back @ indo, with no internet at home, & that means I won't be keeping one of the browser pages on my gmail account to see if there are updates even at night (as my customers are all on different time zones), & I won't be logging in to facebook to play Texas Hold 'Em when I'm bored. Admittedly, the nearest & the only place I could get internet connection, 1 that I know of anyway, is in my uncle's hotel (where my big bro serves as GM), which is 5 mins drive away. Yeah I know you must be thinking I'm a spoiled brat, blah blah blah, but whenever I'm at indo many times I just feel like hiding at home & just chillin', although there's really nothing to do. Bro isn't really a tech buff, so he doesn't have any gadgets that are of interest to me @ home, save the PS2 in the living room. I really think that it's the only connection between us, & when we're at home together we'll just sit & play Winning Eleven (soccer game, in case someone doesn't know) late into the night. Nothing complicated, just bonding at the very basic level since we live in pretty different world now, both work & life wise.

Yeah so there lies the dilemma in life. I don't know if anyone else has this thought on the option of living a simple life or aiming for the high-achiever, which comes with lots of stress and fun at the same time. Attending parties, socializing, etc etc. The whole package. I have always been nervous when meeting new people and takes me some time to warm up to 'em, & I don't like that feeling. That's why sometimes I'd shun social events if I knew there would be nobody I can connect to on a personal level there. That's part & parcel of the high-achiever life though, and I'm struggling to adjust to this requirement.

I'm still nowhere near the high achiever status of course, but I guess maybe it's not meant for me, & by this I mean the lifestyle. Sometimes I do feel that I need to have a group that I can hang out with, but I can't seem to find those people. It seems there are really little people of my age that holds the same interest and have the same thoughts. I really like Chinese history as it has a really rich culture from different dynasties & it can teach me valuable lessons through the chinese proverbs, but at the same time I'm also really interested in business related stuff, whether it is to do with finance, entrepreneurship or economics.

Basically my days are filled with work & the rest of the time I'm brushing up on my interest topics. The funny thing is that when I'm at indo, I tend to slow down my pace and I can even go a week without reading newspaper! That's so unlike me at all! I guess people need to slow down somewhat and not go full throttle each day, just like what I'm doing, though many people think that I'm actually leading a very relaxed life, even during my working days, so I have no reason to complain!

Hmm I think I'm really sidetracking too much from the main topic. Happens a lot when I'm tired but still unable to sleep. Mind's unclear & functioning at less than 20%, but it just won't shut down. Oh yeah just remember this happens a lot too during exam time, when I have only rested for a few winks before morning exams and gulped down 2 bottles of chicken essence to keep myself awake. That really worked for me; well at least I still have 20% of the brain functioning in the exam room!

1.30 am now. Gonna try counting sheeps/stars/etc now. At least I'll be asleep when I reach a thousand+ lambs an hour later =)

on the trouble of having a restless soul

2007-11-14T19:03:00.000+11:00

GRRRRR.... I swear I'd never type an entry straight into this blogspot thingy again!! My whole entry is gone because I accidentally highlighted the whole thing and pressed the next word I was gonna type.. & it's gone!! Frantically tried to somehow reverse the action, but panicked when I saw the autosave function blinking & saving the blank page. I tried to stop it by heading to the 'edit post' section, and to my horror it was too late to save the entry! It's all because of the stupid autosave function!!

(Note: I found out later that I could actually reverse the action by pressing Ctrl-Z. If only I hadn't panicked & exited the page earlier =(

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anyway, recreating my whole entry (word by word) is pretty much impossible I think. Let's look at my best attempt to summarise the pts:

- one-man operation in the biz: the only link between the so-called 'old' & 'new' economy
- reluctance to hand over accounts management - have to do clerical work on my own
- on everything still being manageable, and the dream of making a short trip somewhere (eg. Taiwan, etc) or even a weekend away at Bintan resort
- More realistically, visits to both Ozland & NZ early next year, & also to Beijing Olympics (a must go!!)
- Convincing myself that all of the travel plans are doable!!

To satisfy this restless soul, which has been demanding some sort of travelling to quench its thirst for some actions, I've resorted to visiting blogs that have pictures and accounts of visits to exotic, unknownslashundiscovered beauties in the Caribbean. One day I will have a private jet at my beck & call to bring me to these locations (& I'll even tip the pilot USD 5k/trip)!! & no, I stress that I'm not getting crazy from all the stress! --> (lame attempt at trying to show how english could be confusing to non-english speakers)

P.S. the first five people to post a response to this post will be travelling with me on my private jet's maiden flight to the Caribbean, FREE! (Yes, you read this right: it's even cheaper than the recent Tiger Airways AUD 9.90 domestic Ozland flight) Keep the dream alive!!

glimpse into the past

2007-10-31T23:18:00.000+11:00

I was re-reading some of the stuff I posted last year, & couldn't help a chuckle at these:

Taken from BRW investment guide:

- Is the share market gambling?
All gambling involves “risk”. The share market involves risk, so it must gambling?
Sounds logical? No. This has the same logic structure: All gorillas breathe. John
Howard breathes, so he must be a gorilla...

- Among the victims of the SARS outbreak is Hong Kong's new tourism slogan:Hong Kong will take your breath away . In light of the outbreak, authorities have decided to stop using that advertising slogan.

- Three blondes are walking through a jungle when they come up to some tracks.

First blonde says - 'They're deer tracks'

Second blonde says - 'No they're not. Clearly they're too big to be deer tracks. They're bear tracks.

Third one goes - 'Oh shut it you two, they're moose tra...'

And then a train hits them

=)

Quote of the Day

2007-10-30T03:01:00.000+11:00

'Never doubt a person you use, or never use a person you can't trust'

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In other news, I just found out how amazing internet is! I can't believe people are looking at this blog because of some of the ridiculous stuff I wrote in the past, and it is related to their google search! Haha these ppl must be wondering 'what the ???' .... & oh yeah I've got visitors from Iceland & Norway! Just in case you guys stumble upon this blog again in your random google search, hello and know that I'm a big fan of Ole Gunnar Solksjaer (Go Man Utd & ARSENAL)!! (Sorry I don't know any famous Iceland football players =p )

2007-10-27T01:57:00.001+10:00

It's too late....

I'm really confused right now......

I thought of taking it back, but each time I'm reminded of the 'betrayal', I can't seem to overcome it....

Is it better to forgive & forget, or just to remain passive??

Is it too late, or is it still salvageable?

On facebook

2007-10-23T01:42:00.000+10:00

Long, long time ago, boy heard of this new networking site called facebook from a friend, who insisted it deserved to be crowned 'Web Invention of the Year'. Boy thought it was just another copycat Friendster website, so he didn't bother with it. After all, boy's friendster account has been left sitting there for months, & there was not even a slight urge to update it, so why waste time on creating another somewhere else??

Boy continued to receive invitations to join facebook, u know, those messages that ppl send out to their contacts in order to add them straight to the friends' list initially. That elicited zero response, until recently when boy received the request once again from a long-lost friend, & this time he was persuaded. Boy signed up, expecting another Friendster interface, & he was shocked to see how different it was from those sites back then! It must have been more than a year since he touched his Friendster account, & although it might be different now, it can't be better than what facebook is offering!

Boy has been pretty much staring at the computer screen for the past few hours, trying to understand the mechanism behind facebook ie. how to send prezzies, etc etc. What amazes boy further is the fact that everything is so user-friendly, with drag columns & self-explanatory functions, although there is a confusing array of features waiting to be explored. That said, boy finally understands a report that he read a few weeks ago on how facebook has cost businesses some $5 billion in lost productivity!

Boy is wondering when the novelty will wear off, but judging by the time he spent on it today, it isn't likely to come anytime soon =)

2007-10-21T13:43:00.000+10:00

Had a very interesting experience yesterday. This happened when I was in the midst of a badminton game. Suddenly everything just went quiet, & I felt I was barely in control of my own actions. Took so much effort just to finish the game coz it was as if I was being tied to a 10kg weight on each limb. Didn't have the energy to carry on playing after that, so I went back early. The weight has since been lifted off, but the serenity still continued.

It was the same path that I took to get home everytime, with the chatters of passerby and loud honking of the buses/cars filling the air. It was all calm yesterday, as if there was only me, & me alone in the busy street. It wasn't entirely an out of body experience (actually I wouldn't know coz I haven't experienced that before, but I read somewhere that you could actually see your physical body when that happens..) but it would be something close. I think it was just the tiredness for not being able to sleep well in the past 2 weeks, & the accumulation of the 'debt' that I owe to my body =( Last night was the best sleep I've had in a while though, so that was definitely a blessing in disguise =) Can't describe how energized I was feeling this morning, & how good it felt not to wake up with a headache in the morning!

2007-10-11T21:48:00.000+10:00

Sorted out my thoughts.... It is definitely time to say goodbye...

Lost in Penang...

2007-09-24T13:45:00.001+10:00

So here I'm, sitting alone in the hotel cafe where I'm staying in at Penang, waiting for my friends to pick me up after a late night out. It's an odd feeling: it's a great place, & I enjoy the trip immensely, but yet I'm bogged down by the discussion we had yesterday during the long drive to source out biz opportunities in various places.

We started talking about how simple/fun life were back then in melb, & that we should start making plans to go back there, both for hols & when we retire later on. Came back to the hotel later that night, and I was reminded of Dee’s words, something to the tune of that it’s not about the place itself, but more about the companionship that happened in that place.

Just a few months ago, I was counting the people whom I’d definitely make the effort to meet up with if/when I’m back at melb, those ppl that really defined my four year stay there. Right now, I can’t even use up all of my left hand’s fingers, so it really shows how much has changed since then. I barely had any contact with those ppl I treasured the most, & I swear I have tried my best to reach out to them… but there’s always just the disappointment in the end.

As much as I miss melb, I think it’s the events that happened that made it so much more memorable…. & I’m really reluctant to go back right now, lest it spoils the beautiful memories it has engraved in my mind. Maybe it’s the fear that no one will actually care/notice if I’m there, or that subconsciously I know that those wonderful times were history, and it won’t ever be repeated again. I don’t even know what is the purpose of going back anymore, although I do miss the food & the erratic weather terribly.

Makes me feel as though I’ve lost my second home, the refuge house that I always thought I could count on when I’m down. Apparently that house has been getting its own new occupants when I’m wandering overseas aimlessly, & there won’t be a place anymore when the prodigal son returns….

Can’t help but to feel that I’ve lost both my heart & soul…

2007-08-06T18:28:00.000+10:00

I've been back for a week now from my short biz trip to Surabaya, where everything seems really, well, let's just say it's definitely not to my taste. The filthy air from the factory pollution, the non-existent public transport & leisure outlets, & the less-than-impressive CBD area aka city centre. All in all, not something I'd expect from the 2nd largest city in Indonesia, although it might be because that I had such a great time in Jakarta previously that I've come to expect much of this place as well.

Anws, biz negotiations went well, although nothing is concluded at the moment, but it's a real step forward to starting my new plan. Still in the process of making plans & finding out viability, & my estimation that it should be all done within a mth. Oh yeah, talkin' abt negotiation, it was definitely my 1st time being in the swanky 5* business meeting room @ Marriott, & I was dressed really inappropiately for the occassion (polo shirt with jeans & adidas sneakers!). Determined to make amends, I had to go fully dressed up in biz attire the next morning! haha the host didn't seem to mind tho, & invited us to Marriott's breakie (which I hav to admit was rather simple, considering the hefty USD 30/head charge!). I ended up munching only a tiny muffin (a rather expensive one, if u ask me =) as I was too busy explaining the details to the buyer.

Had really little sleep for the 90 hours I was there, & fell sick the moment we flew back to Batam. Oh yeah did I mention that I couldn't even find decent internet connection anywhere in Surabaya?? Novotel, where we stayed, offered wireless connection, but it was really slow, & all those 'warnets' (internet booths) had 56k connection shared between a hundred computers, literally! Took me 1/2 hr to send out an email, and God knows how long it'll take to send out the pics I took there!

Oh yeah just before I forget, I've gotta apologize here to someone who requested that I post up a notice on where I'm going. Well as you can read above, internet connection was a luxury back in Surabaya, & I'd doze off before it gets posted! So, my humblest apology again =)

Current thought

2007-08-06T00:45:00.000+10:00

Maybe it's because as one grows older, & with it relative wisdom increases,
that I no longer believe in someone's sincerest wish will eventually come true,
A wish that you would trade anything you possess for,
but someday, I still pray/hope for the day my disbelief be proven wrong.....

2007-07-23T00:36:00.000+10:00

Just finished reading this investment guide book, & I feel so much more enlightened by the material inside compared to the stuff learnt in the 3-year finance degree! Warren Buffett's serious but light-hearted approach to his invesment philosophy is amply covered in the book, & really, there's no one out there who can touch his investment record. Anyway, just thought that I should share some of my favourite quotes (finance academics & student be warned: some of his comments would shatter whatever confidence you have built up from all those As scored in your Uni years!):

'Diversification is for the birds'

'I plan to keep working until 5 years after I die. I have given the Berkshire board members Ouija boards to stay in touch'

'In evaluating people, you look for 3 qualities: integrity, intelligence & energy. If you don't have the 1st one, the other 2 will kill you'

'Diversification is a protection against ignorance. It makes very little sense for those who know what they're doing'

' I have enjoyed the process of making money far more than the proceeds'

Other notable quotes:

'The only time where success comes before work is in a dictionary'
- Vidal Sassoon (entrepreneur - hair care products?)

'Don't do anything until you know what you are doing'
- Jimmy Rogers, legendary investor

Comment: Highly recommended! Many examples given when these master investors have to make split second decisions, & how their 'unconscious competence' works in these cirscumstances. Eg. how George Soros became known as the 'Man who broke the Bank of England', etc

2007-07-02T00:06:00.000+10:00

Starting to think I'm cursed.. coz just when everything seems to be turning out great, there's always a spoiler waiting in the wings. It has happened way too many times, & as much as I want to remain positive, I can't help but get the idea that I'm probably really not cut out for this. A divine signslashintervention to get me started on looking for a proper job, perhaps?

I've only discussed this with 1 person previously (u know who u r =), but it's not really such a big deal, so I'm sharing it with every1 to see if u think I'm cursed too. All right, so the story goes like this. After this MSN conversation, the customer placed a trial order with us. We prepared his order and shipped it out on the 5th june, expecting it to arrive at Turkey on the 19th. Due to the congestion of container traffic (yes, there is indeed such a thing!), the cargo is only leaving on the 2nd July, delaying the shipment by a full month! Trouble is, my customer has promised to sell the stock to some1 else on the 5th July, and if he doesn't deliver, he has got to pay 30% for breaching the contract.

So he came complaining to me, and I forwarded to him an apology letter from the shipping company (which is really poorly written...). He was really pissed off and accused me of being a cheat & started threatening about taking our company to the courts. After futile explanation attempts, he cancelled a large order for next month, and probably won't ever purchase anything from us ever again.

The key point here is, I wasn't aware of the delay and I had exactly the same information as he had! I've acted in his best interest all these while, preparing the documents he needed and sent it to him as soon as the shipment left Singapore. Yet for all the effort I've put in, it has come to this again. Zilch. It's not the 1st time this has happened, & I'm just so dissappointed right now. Maybe, just maybe, this biz is not really for me, & I should find another biz or enter the job market.

Kept reminding myself there's no easy path to success, but this latest setback is really disheartening, to say the least. Just hope that I'll find in myself enough courage & wisdom to bounce back stronger than ever... I must, & I will.

2007-06-16T03:01:00.000+10:00

Was reading shar's blog when I saw this video:

There's more than just her incredible vocal prowess that makes the perfomance so impressive. I can't pinpoint exactly what it is, but I believe it's her innocence and personality that makes it a standout. Reminds me of the time when I watched Kat McPhee's rendition of the same song last year, and how tears started rolling down my cheek before I realised it. For those who haven't watched it, here's the clip:

Personally I still think Kat's was better than Conny's, but that's only because Kat's voice could rise to the pitch needed for the final part, & Conny hasn't had any vocal training before. Conny's way better at the emotion control part though (which I believe is from how she interprets the lyrics through her young, innocent & untainted mind), & I have no doubt she'll be a world-beater if she grows up to be a singer next time!

2007-06-14T20:52:00.000+10:00

Was following the rerun of season 2 of ‘So U think U can dance’ the past 2 weeks on channel 5, & I think this time it was even more exciting than the 1st time I've watched it. Even skipped baddie on tues nite to watch it coz it was the semis, and each day I'm seated on an emotional rollercoaster as more & more of the talented dancers exited the competition. Starting with Allison, whom I thought was the most versatile dancer & the best gal in contemporary, & then Ivan (hip-hop), Natalie (contemporary), Heidi (ballroom), Donyelle (??), & Travis (contemporary), who were all excellent dancers in their own right. Benji was the eventual winner, and rightfully so, as I have boldly predicted when I watched him during the audition stage. He was by far the most entertaining performer, and his slick charm definitely won him the votes of the audience.

Before they left, they were asked for their comments, and I was most impressed & touched by Donyelle’s, ‘I almost quit dancing. I asked God for direction in life, & I joined this competition. I went for audition & I’m still here… & I can’t stop now.’ Almost made me cry then, coz I could totally relate to her experience when I was training for badminton during secondary school & Melb Uni days. I had wanted to stop training back then coz it was draining me both physically and emotionally, to the point that my results were greatly affected. It finally struck me that I didn’t have to keep training to be playing the sports I love, & by then I had realized that I would have regretted it if I gave it up for good. Till now, I’m just learning to take it all in again, & enjoy the game as it is, simple and pure…

I have so much more respect for dancers right now, not only because they’re excellent at what they do, but more because of their dedication to their own trade. Dancing is not traditionally considered to be a money-spinning job, & most dancers enter the industry knowing that they probably won’t ever become rich… in monetary terms. What they lack in material comfort, though, is more than compensated by the abundance of joy & pride they get when audience give them a standing ovation at the end of their performance. Dancers are seriously underpriced talents, & I can never understand why. American idols probably earn a few multiples of what ‘America’s most popular dancer’ gets, & I certainly don’t think AIs are more talented than AMPDs. Arrgghhh enough said!

I have another interesting story to tell, but let’s leave it till next time! Till then, Adios!

The beautiful life

2007-06-13T02:56:00.000+10:00

When the lights are off in my room, past memories always invaded my thoughts, and forced its way before my very eyes, beautifully displaying the best moments of my life in random order, & most of them are of my beloved melbourne. Usually I'd have just switched the light back on, but tonight I've decided to capture those moments in words, acceding to the request of my mind, which has really been waiting for a while for me to do it justice =)

every single frame seems to connect so seamlessly, & the first few took me through the enormous Queen's College compound on the perimeter of the Melb Uni's Parkville campus, & then moving on to the row of houses just opposite the street, before it is connected to the massive graveyard on Princes street, on which College Square lies as well on the other side of the road. Rows of victorian-style houses adorn the carlton village, of which I have had the privilege of staying in for 3 years, albeit at a rather messy state (which I'd prefer not to mention as it would spoil the image that I'm trying to conjure here =)

The next set of images takes me into the Albert House building, where I was inconveniently placed on the 3rd floor for a year. Nevertheless, it was one of the best years of my life, getting to know friends whom I'm still in regular contact with, through exchanges of life experiences during the dinner session, heart-to-heart chat in the rooms of a select few close friends, or the crazy cramming at the 2nd floor tea room during exam period. A pity some of us have chosen not to keep the friendship that I've always treasured so much because of the amazing moments, despite the short time that we shared together...

Images of Trinity came up next. I could see myself walking past the many intricately designed stone-based Italian restaurants, pacing through the many patrons that filled 'em up during lunch hours. Sometimes I would walk all the way up Lygon st for the most interesting ever Psych course (w/ Maureen), but usually I'd be going past Lincoln Square to reach the main Trinity campus for the many (admittedly) boring tutes and lectures there. & who can forget Danny's initially daunting yet fun drama lesson that brought so much fun to all the students involved?

Next came the pictures from the 2005 summer, although I should really say that the memorable events began around november, after I got to know more Flare's members through Kel & Derr. In the short period of time that I've spent together with them, I've learnt to let myself go, & be more vulnerable in front of them, just because no one is perfect. For once, I didn't have to pretend to be someone I was not, and just be comfortable with who I'm. Days spent playing poker & Risk, eating dee's home-cooked food & lazying around at Dee's leaking apartment were definitely one of the best days I've spent. Add Am & her Taboo game after she came back from her Brunei's hols, & they would rank as two of the most hospitable hostesses I've met! Seriously, I haven't 'slept' around at other people's places very often, let alone gals (Read:NIL), so the grand total of around 10-14 days during the summer would have been very impressive by my own standard =) There was just so much of the events that are still etched so clearly to my mind (CNY @ Springvale, fishing trip, GOR trip, Melb Open, Taboo, poker & Risk sessions, X'mas party, etc), & tears are just welling up in my eyes everytime I think of 'em...

.... & if I'm ever struck down by dementia (touch wood!), I will at least still have this page to remind me of the best parts in my life... I'm sure there will be more to come in the future though, & till that happens, these will still keep my eyes teary for a while yet, when I'm reminded of them again in the future...

Aviva Open semi & final matches

2007-05-06T22:40:00.000+10:00

Went to the Indoor stadium for the semis yesterday. The 2 matches I was particularly looking forward to was the indo vs indo mxd and candra/tony (indo) vs fu/cai (china), & both didn't dissappoint.

Mxd event was really exciting coz both pairs were definitely world class. Personally I favoured Flandy/Vita coz I saw how good flandy was (& the fact that he's left handed as well!), & only by watching him during warm up did I realize how talented he was. He probably has the most flexible wrist/strongest drive in the indo national team, & that is definitely the highest complement coz indo men's doubles have the reputation of being the strongest in drive & net play. Vita also played very well and was equal to her task of matching Lilyana, the strongest mxd woman in the world. Three set later, Flandy/vita were on their way to the final!

It was an easy kill in the final, as I've expected before the match. Their opponent was the impressive thai world no 3 pair of sudket/saralee, who has beaten world no 2 pair xie/zhang the day before. However, they very much depended on sudket's smashing at the back, and the indo pair plays the driving style. Flandy controlled the match thruout with his unconventional mxd play, and left the thai with no chance. Flandy/Vita are the champions in the category! I think they've much more to go as a new pairing, although Flandy is already 33 this year. Next aim: winning the Olympics!!

Men's doubles also lived up to its top billing. Candra/Tony has met Cai/Fu in the previous super series semis, and has lost on both occasions. They seemed to have more preparation this time, and Tony was back to his imperious best form, controlling the net and certainly worthy of his best player tag given to him a few years back. Candra was doing ok but definitely wasn't at his best. they won the 1st set and was on even ground with the chinese in the 2nd. However, they weren't able to close the set and let the chinese back into the game, losing 24-22. There was no way back for them in the rubber set, as they've used up their energy to focus on winning the 2nd set. The chinese won the 3rd easily, depriving me the chance of watching my idols play in the final =(

Credit has to be given to Fu/Cai though, coz their fighting spirit definitely served them well. They were also down 1 set in the final vs Choong/Lee (Malaysia), and almost lost the 2nd set after they saved 2 match points. In the rubber, they were down 15-6 and fought hard to win the game 21-18, when odds were stacked against them. Juz gotta give it to them for their perseverance, & truly worthy of their world no 1 ranking.

Indonesia Open is next & it starts tmr. Hopefully Indo can come out from its recent slump and start winning some titles. I'm betting Taufik for the MS, Nova/Lilyana for the MXD, and Candra/Tony for the MD. As much as I want to be optimistic about our chance in the women's, it looks like China is gonna dominate for at least another 2-3 years =( Hopefully we can unearth another Susi Susanti soon!

A day at the Aviva Open - Singapore Super Series (Part II)

2007-05-05T03:33:00.000+10:00

Next up was the men's & women's singles. Chinese dominance in the women's singles can't be denied, coz there was hardly any non-chinese in the quarters, save for a danish chick called Tina Rasmussen. She gave Xie Xingfang a good fight, stretching her to a 3-setter, but I suspect that she hasn't switched out from 2nd gear in the whole match. I actually spotted chia chi's name on the website last night, and I thought that she was still in the quarters, so I waited at the warm up area to say hello. She wasn't there obviously, but my effort wasn't completely drained either, coz I was actually sitting just 2m away from all the players! haha maybe someone can imagine how stupid I had looked then, gushing like a small kid when a famous player walks past. Some of the faces I recognized was Peter Gade, Kenneth Johanssen (who played an excellent 3-setter match, won by Gade after he sped up his game towards the end, though temper did flare up and resulted in a yellow card for Kenneth midway thru), Lin Dan, Xie Xingfang, Pi Hongyan, etc etc.

Men's singles is always an exciting event, even more so if Taufik still remains in the draw. He was kicked out by Gade the day before though, and with it went my chance of seeing his legendary backhand =( Most exciting match was reserved, fittingly, for the final match of the day, Boonsak vs Lin Dan. In the 1st game Lin dan was evidently taking it slow, and predictably lost it. He took control of the 2nd game, and it went on to a 3rd set. Boonsak, the tricky player he is, matched Lin Dan point for point with his consistent display of cross court netting & stretching him left & right. Lin Dan responded with his trademark powerful overhead smash, & the game went into a tiebreaker. Owing to a mishit by Lin in the penultimate pt, Boonsak finally finished the game as winner after Lin Dan hit out a drive!

Most of my attention was focused on the men's doubles game of course, bcoz my idols were playing today. Candra & Tony looked really relaxed and chatted with indo fans, altho with my limited indo I really doubt my ability to strike up a meaningful conversation =( that didn't diminish my support for them obviously, and I'd definitely pick up my courage to ask them for their autograph tmr! That aside, they were playing against a korean pair, and Candra looked solid throughout, even taking over the role of net play normally done by Tony. Candra's drive shots has got to be the best in the circuit, even after his retirement from national team. the Koreans couldn't find their way thru him, and had to switch target to Tony. He wasn't as good as before when he could turn the match ard with the flick of his wrist, but he was still a joy to watch, contributing key net plays, although sometimes his defence did fail him, unlike candra's impregnable armor. Nevertheless, the true hallmark of a champion is that you can play badly and still beat most pairs in the world, and that is definitely what Tony/Candra are. No fuss, & 2 sets later, they are in the semis! Markis kido & hendra setiawan from indo also advanced after thrashing the m'sian pair who beat KKK & TBH, their teammate & 3 times super series champ, earlier. Indo has 2 pair in the semi, m'sia has 1 in choong tan fook/lee wan wah, & the other pair is Cai Yun/Fu Hai Feng of China.

I guess there's no need to mention women's doubles at all. As always, Chinese team sent a dozen participants in, and took probably 6 out of 8 spots in the quarters, & after rooting out the other 2 intruder pairs, it's an all chinese affair again. same boring story huuaaaahhhhh. Oh yeah perhaps it's better to mention the atmosphere created by the indo fans inside. It was really fantastic as we were the most opinionated crowd, and ended up influencing other neutral fans to support whoever we were supporting as well. Like in the case when we routed for Boonsak by shouting, 'boonsak, jia you!' haha it seems like we indos are the ABC (anyone but china) group.

Will update more later, so keep checkin' back for more baddie posts!

A day at the Aviva Open - Singapore Super Series (Part I)

2007-05-05T03:07:00.000+10:00

This post is for all the baddie action-starved afficionados!

Hmm I guess it all started with my childhood dream of watching baddie stars in live action, coz believe it or not, I haven't watched any international baddie tourneys before, even though I've been playing it for more than a decade! Part of it was bcoz I was living in a small kampong before (though my idol Tony Gunawan did come & played at my club before coz his wife hails from my teeny-tiny hometown! Bad news though, coz I was studying at Singapore back then, so I missed the only chance to watch him in action =(

I arrived at Indoor stadium at 2, an hour early coz I wasn't aware that the event will only start later. Bought the tix and sat inside for a while b4 the chinese mixed-double team started coming in for warm up. The 1st person I recognized was Gao Ling, the uber-super doubles specialist who has won every single title in women's & mixed doubles! She was mucking ard with her left hand, & just for the record I had thought that she could probably beat me with that coz her driving was still impressive! A little later my fav indo mixed double team entered the stadium too, Nova & Lilyana + Flandy & Vita. Haven't actually seen them in live action before, & I only realised they were going to play the 2 chinese pairs inside earlier! Nova & Lilyana was impressive & dominant in the game against Zheng Bo/Gao Ling, dominating every rally and finishing them off rather easily, although the chinese pair has won the last 3 super series! Lilyana has got to be the best female player Indonesia has got, coz she takes initiative at the net really well, and also take smash like nobody's business. Nova was actually not that strong in attack (read: smash), but his shot placement made it hard for the chinese to respond, especially since they depended mostly on Gao Ling to win coz her partner's only strong point is his smashing. Flandy was even more impressive with his unconventional MXD style, and he has frightening backhand drive! There were many times he would catch the chinese pair of Zhang Jun/Zhao TT with his sudden backhand crosscourt drives and turned the match in his favour. They couldn't find the answer to deal with it, & plus that Vita was a notch up against Zhao TT at the net, it rounded up to be an easy win for the indos! Excellent result for us, coz we'd be guaranteed a pair in the final, as both indo pairs are scheduled to meet at tmr's semis!

Rounding up the MXD event semis are chinese pair xie zhongbo/zhang yawen & thai pair sudket & saralee, who will be meeting in the other semi...

a short glimpse into what I do at work

2007-04-26T18:53:00.000+10:00

leonhart20 says:
no problem at all
leonhart20 says:
we have an agreement
Sanda Tur. Tic. LTD. says:
THANK YOU!
Sanda Tur. Tic. LTD. says:
its nice to talk and work with you so far!
Sanda Tur. Tic. LTD. says:
How old are you?
leonhart20 says:
I'm 22 this year
Sanda Tur. Tic. LTD. says:

Sanda Tur. Tic. LTD. says:
you have already 5 start from me!
Sanda Tur. Tic. LTD. says:
5 star ( *****)
Sanda Tur. Tic. LTD. says:
Thank you.

Haha this just about sums up what I did all afternoon =) I think I just managed to close another deal, so hopefully there's no glitch again this time! *fingers crossed*

current fav songs

2007-04-22T01:22:00.000+10:00

Jolin & David -
Jing Tian Ni Yao Jia Gei Wo (今天你要嫁给我)

Jolin - 野蠻遊戲 - Ye man You Xi

Jolin - Zheng Yi Zhi Yan, Bi Yi Zhi Yan

Extreme - More than words

Jolin - Mr Q

hmmm maybe I should just rename this post current fav - Jolin & the rest =)

2007-04-22T00:14:00.000+10:00

Hmm something is wrong with my gmail account. either that or people are snubbing me (hopefully it's not the latter..). Ok, just a snap poll here. Has anyone received the office vs jail email that I sent out recently?? I know gracey has, but has anyone else got it as well?? I've sent out plenty of emails recently but has gotten really few replies... Or maybe it's just that peeps are busy with work/study?

2007-04-06T12:27:00.000+10:00

feeling anti-social right now, after spending the last 2 weekends catching up with my secondary sch friends. Perhaps it's due to the few rejection emails that I've received recently after my final round interviews. Seriously, I don't really know what to make of it anymore when pplz get u past the 1st round and get u thinking 'hey, I think I'll like this job & I really wanna get it!', before shooting it down by 'sorry, preference will be given to someone with job exp'.... enuf said....

So for those pplz who called or sms-ed in the past 2 weeks, I'm really sorry coz it's either I'm overseas, or that I was pms-ing & just wanted to be left alone. I used to tell Gracey that it can't get worse than this already, so there's only the bright, shiny path to look forward to. How fake a comment that sounds to me now, but hey, at least Gracey benefited from it =) As of now, I'm still culminated in darkness, & the light at the end of the tunnel seems still so distant away...